Rest in peace? I should be so lucky. To date I've had more failed suicide attempts than sexual conquests. Which in itself is reason enough to try again. I've tried every method ' from the high wire drama of bridge jumping to the anonymous leave-taking of pills. And every single try's been thwarted by friends or goddamn do-gooders. Understand. These are not cries for help. I am genuinely committed. Just monumentally unlucky.