The Birthday! A Monologue

The Birthday!    A Monologue    

I don’t suppose I’ll see anyone today.  We keep ourselves to ourselves round here… best way, really.  Never know who you might be talking to.  You hear such stories.

There was that woman in the paper last week opened her door to someone who said he’d come to read the meter.  She let him in and he robbed her, took her pension and a bit of jewellery and then started smashing up the place.  Poor old dear frightened half to death, she was.

No, I’m very careful like that…don’t open the door to anyone.  Well, to be honest, no-one ever knocks here.  Do you know it must be three weeks since I last spoke to someone and I’m not sure they really count?  You see, they were Jehovah’s Witnesses, or so they said though most people say they can’t get rid of them but they didn’t seem to want to chat to me.  Anyway, I managed to keep them talking for a goodly while on the doorstep then I invited them in but they said they couldn’t stop. They seemed in a hurry to get away.  I called after them to pop back when they’d finished and I’d put the kettle on but they didn’t come back. 

No, we keep ourselves to ourselves round here.  It’s very quiet… most people are out working so I don’t really see anyone.  Not that I mind.  No, I like my own company but today would have been nice.  To see someone that is.  Still, I’ve got a nice lot of cards.  Some say To a Special Friend, others say Happy 70^TH and I’ve even got some funny ones.  No, I didn’t get post.  Well, no point paying for stamps as well. 

I’ve got one more to write but this one is going to be difficult.  You see it’s one For A Special Dad but I never see or hear from her…  Hardly surprising really, I split from her mother when she was little so she doesn’t know me.  I would have liked to have known her though but that’s not very likely now after all these years.  You see when her mother moved away I lost contact with them so I guess she wouldn’t want to know me anyway.  She probably thinks I didn’t care enough to stay in contact but I tried to find them.  I wrote to all her mother’s relatives but they weren’t helpful.  Most of them didn’t even reply to my letters and those that did said they wanted nothing to do with her or me.

I’ll just nip into the kitchen and make a cup of tea before I attempt to write this one. Last year it wouldn’t even stand up on its own on the mantelpiece.  I had to prop it up against the clock…not going to be so silly this time though…grown man…

Ah the kettle’s boiled now so I’ll have a nice cuppa while I decide what I’m going to write.  Ooh, hang on though I think I can hear the phone.  Yes, it’s in the hall that’s why I didn’t hear it straightaway.

“Hello, yes, what’s that you say?  My name, it’s Arthur Greenway, why, what do you want to know that for?” 

Well, would you believe it, he put the phone down?  I expect it was one of them nuisance calls but you’d think he would have the decency to talk for a bit longer.  Probably going to tell me I’d won some Reader’s Digest competition.  I would have liked him to talk for a bit longer.  I could have told him it was my birthday.  He might have wished me a Happy Birthday.  That would have been nice.  I can’t remember the last time someone said that to me.  Still, it does no good to dwell.

Yes, I’m Seventy today so I’ve bought myself a nice bit of ham on the bone for my lunch…not that cheap wafer thin rubbish that tastes of nothing but the plastic it comes in.  No, this is proper Wiltshire ham, thick cut too from the Deli counter in the Co-Op.   Can’t usually run to buying ham from the Deli counter but can stretch a point on my birthday; it’s only once a year.

Ooh, what was that?  I just heard something drop through the letterbox.  Probably one of them leaflets saying they want to replace my windows or soffits, whatever they are.  Oh no, it’s a big envelope the sort that come with big… no, it can’t be one of those still I pick it up and start to walk into the sitting room but before I get the chance to open it I hear a knock on the front door.  It never rains but it pours and although, earlier, I had wanted someone to knock did it have to be now when I am curious to see what’s in the big envelope?  It doesn’t look official so it’s not from the council. 

Anyway, I open the front door but not before I put the chain on. 

‘Yes?’ I said to the young woman standing there smiling at me.

“Are you Arthur Greenway?” she says.

I knew it…I’ve won a Reader’s Digest competition.  I always thought they were fixed.

‘Yes, I am’ I said, ‘I always thought your competitions were fixed’

‘Competitions?’

‘Yes, that’s what you’re here for aint it?  What have I won?’

Judging by the big box she’s holding, all done up nice with bows and  ribbon and things, it’s obvious I’ve not won a holiday.  That would have been nice still mustn’t grumble…nice to win anything.  Shouldn’t think it’s for me though…must be for someone else.  It couldn’t be for me…could it?  Fancy…me a winner!  Although I can’t work out how I could have won because I don’t take The Reader’s Digest.  Oh, just my luck, there’s been some mistake.  She’s got the wrong house.

“Who do you want, dear?” I said.

She looked me straight in the eye and said,

“You!  If you’re Arthur Greenway, it’s you I want.”

‘Well, I am Arthur Greenway, so what is it you want?’

‘Don’t you know who I am?’

She did have a look…no…can’t be.

‘It’s me Dad, Sonia, your daughter!’

I didn’t know what to say but I dropped my guard and took the chain off…yes…she did…have a look…No, it can’t be.  She would never be able to find me.  Not after all these years.

“What makes you think I’m your father?” I said.

“I know you are because just recently, after Mum passed away, I found your letters and my husband called you earlier today to make sure you still lived here.  When we moved to New Zealand Mum told me you had died that was why I never tried to contact you.’

“Come on in,” I said, “We’ve got a lot of catching up to do.”

“I can only stop for a short while as I must get back to my husband and children.”

Well, would you believe it…even after all these years she couldn’t spare any time for me?  I didn’t want her to see how much of a struggle it was to hide my disappointment.

“Don’t look so downcast, Dad, the reason I’ve got to get back to my family is that I’ve left them with all the arrangements for tonight.”

“What arrangements?” I said.

“The arrangements for the birthday party, of course.’

‘That’s funny’ I said, ‘It’s my birthday today too.  Who’s the party for?’

‘For you, Dad, it’s for you!’

End