Will eventually become a 40 day thing and be better. This is a draft and is here for feedback.
The housemates gather in the kitchen.
Big Brother calls Geoff to the diary room.
He chats about how he misses the duvet lump of his girlfriend Dionn.
The lactic acid has written through the muscles now and the body is an enema.
Eleri lies with her wrists up, the voice over says nothing about blood.
Matt and the mirror decide that his hair needs restyling.
Fran makes a shopping list and her hair glows like a light bulb.
God said there was light and the energy saving light bulbs have too much magnesium.
Shazney is in the garden learning to rollerblade, she shows her pink satin knickers to the camera.
She has made so many figures of eight in the garden that the worms are popping their heads up to see whats going on.
Lazurus has not got up in five days – the housemates have given up talking to him
he never blinks.
In the kitchen the housemates complain that he has failed this weeks domino task.
Tamara and Jamal are in the kitchen making nail bombs.
Joe picks up the teaspoons, walks down the hall and throws them in Ned's rainbow arc of shower urine.
Now that the rain has stopped, Noah is out on deck, feeding the chickens.
Paulo vaults the security fence.
For this weeks task Erica must get over her fear of dying.
The housemates hug her when she says she thinks she might maybe want to stay in.
Someone almost wins and press shots
palm pass to journalists with eyes like two pence pieces.
The camera keeps blinking.
Jamal and Tamara are on roller skates making kitchens
pink satin knickers have given up failing this weeks task
the nail bomb relationship between Matt and Erica has started stinging.
God and the mirror have been left out in the garden
the edge is grown over with narcissus leaves.
Chickens gather in the diary room.
Everywhere silent clucks.
No rainbow urine.
Lazurus says nothing about blood
the worms decide that his body needs restyling.

Comments
Ewan | May 15, 2008 - 08:03
I found this bizarrely arresting; full of kaleidoscopic images, favourites being
'eyes like two pence pieces'
'nail bomb relationship'
'rainbow urine'
I liked what is here already, very much.
Now for a dumb question...
What is a 40 day thing? Something you have 40 days to complete and polish???
regards Ewan
spack | May 15, 2008 - 17:51
Love this, Han.
Many killer lines:
"She has made so many figures of eight in the garden that the worms are popping their heads up to see whats going on."
"Lazurus has not got up in five days – the housemates have given up talking to him"
"For this weeks task Erica must get over her fear of dying."
"Tamara and Jamal are in the kitchen making nail bombs."
For me, it loses its way from "Someone almost wins..."
Those final stanzas don't work for me. I can get what you are going for, I think - the images from earlier in the poem returning, rearranged. But it feels a bit forced. Blood, worms, silence, Lazarus. It all feels a bit consciously symbolic. And I lost sight of the narrative. It seems like a shame, pour moi, that the poem moves in to abstraction.
This is an absolute winner though. One of your best.
Joe
Leonie | May 16, 2008 - 14:19
Bloody great, definately one of your best. not sure i share joe's opinion about the end though, i loved it when it went all nuts. for me it totally evoked the chaos and weirdness created in me by certain bonkers apects of popular culture.
no rainbow urine.