Typical American

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Typical American

Well, I did it last night. Confirmed my national heritage and contribruted to the global energy crisis.

I purchased a brand new, really big, red, 4x4 Sport Utility Vehicle. It probably gets 2 miles to the gallon and can hold an entire football team (British or American.) So, now I have a really big 5 year old blue 4x4 pickup truck and a really big red 4x4 SUV. Next week, a sports car.

It's good to live alone.

and what are they for exactly? A serious question because I know you're not like the morons over here who buy enormous 4x4 SUVs so they can take their hand bag sized only child ten feet to school and back. You fish etc and live in the great wilderness of Colorado so what are they for? will you be carrying dead bison about the place in the back? will you be 'off roading' up mountains to get to secret streams with tent and survival gear on board? do tell
and what are they for exactly? A serious question because I know you're not like the morons over here who buy enormous 4x4 SUVs so they can take their hand bag sized only child ten feet to school and back. You fish etc and live in the great wilderness of Colorado so what are they for? will you be carrying dead bison about the place in the back? will you be 'off roading' up mountains to get to secret streams with tent and survival gear on board? do tell
We in Texas love those things. My best friend said it best when she said, "It makes me feel so powerful, coming up on people like that" (we were sitting in her Ford F-250 and she made a point of roaring up on folks to make them nervous -- at least, that's what I think she was doing.).
you live in Texas, lowslop? I do too! I live in McKinney.

Tyler King

lowslop "It makes me feel so powerful, coming up on people like that" hmmm hmmmmm hmmmmmm
It makes me feel powerful coming over people.

 

Ew, ick, Styxbroox. But I'm sure that feeling is accompanied with exhaustion and the sentence: "Where's my chicken pot pie?!" Sorry. Ew, ick.
Now, let's all come up with what SUV really stands for, starting with: Stupid Useless Vehicle Yeah, I know, weak beginning, but you can all do better. Let's roll.
Well, I put my first miles on it this afternoon. It has a trip computer that calculates fuel mileage, 8 miles per gallon to the mini-mart. I got a six pack of beer and went to the post office...god this thing is nice. I can actually see the tops of every other car on the road and boy oh boy, do they all look tiny. I managed to stock it with 2 fishing poles, a fishing vest, a sleeping bag, a camera case, 2 cameras, a tripod and my gps. Now, what else will I needt...oh...yea...my road atlas..where did I put that? I'll have to plan my trip to the dead bison range and see if I can pick one up. It's not a bug...it's a feature.

It's not a bug...it's a feature.

I do. M cKinney, eh? Have you noticed how hard it is to explain our love of this damn place?
Gary it's not CLEARLY a matter of being typically American, as you said "It's good to live alone." so I guess you are single right? and this doesn't happen in the USA only, so there! Those who live alone are said to contribrute to the global energy crisis more than those who don't live alone! I wonder why! *no she doesn't*.
I'm very energy efficient actually, being an engineer and all...but I suppose there is a certain economy of scale to group settings. It costs pretty much the same to heat a house for two or three people as it does for one. So, tonight I get to make the long drive to the airport to pick up the girl-friends mother. Here's the good part...the girl-friend has an SUV just like mine, only blue. We're going to try to convince Ma that there's a new paint that can change colors by hitting a button. After we get home, I'm going to swap mine for gf's and then it'll be blue again. Nothing more fun than messing with the minds of old people.... It's not a bug...it's a feature.

It's not a bug...it's a feature.

Now that's the best post I've seen in a long time. You might have some fancy explaining to do when she asks if there are more than two color options, but give it a go. Let us know how it turned out.
Even better - prove that you are a magician and make them both disappear. You are an intelligent man. You don't need me to tell you that these things are wrong. Get rid and join the human race.
I hate them. Loathe them. If I were PM I would have them instantly confiscated and replaced with horses and carts. But if you have to drive one could you please please remember that although you are very safe in yours, it doesn't mean you can drive without a care for anyone else on the road (and yes, women are so much the worst culprits of this). So please, no putting on your make up while doing 70 in a 40 zone and talking to the nanny on the telephone.
Oh no. Tony look at the Google ads.
Well, the joke is on me...Never leave your extra keys behind. We get to the airport (GF and me)...I park my Red SUV in the handicap spot next to the entrance on the 4th level. GF gets a pass to go to the terminal and wait for Ma, I go to the luggage area and wait for both. Unknown to me, Son of GF has followed us to the airport and swaps my red for a white one. Keep in mind, he's the one that sold us these things..he works at the auto dealer and has access to dozens of them. We pick up Ma, the luggage and proceed towards the parking garage...We're snickering about the change of color...we get to the garage and there is a white SUV sitting in the handicap spot, where I parked my Red SUV. GF pulls the keys out of her purse and opens it right up. Ma gets in, GF gets in. I get in...They start laughing...I just shake my head....I've been had! It's not a bug...it's a feature.

It's not a bug...it's a feature.

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