Your portrait by mcmanaman

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Tue, 2005-09-06 12:50

tcook

Your portrait by mcmanaman

For me, he's a bit and miss - but this one is a great big hit:

http://www.abctales.com/mcmanaman/your_portrait

but then again that's what ABCtales is for - trying stuff out and finding out what works and what doesn't.

Tue, 2005-09-06 14:21

rokkitnite

I loved this. And still do. The bit about the cricket pitch is great - as are the shifting scenario (traffic jam to bedroom) and the gradual deterioration of the narrator's relationship. Neato.

Tue, 2005-09-06 14:27

mcmanaman

Thanks Tim, glad you like it. And thanks Tony for flagging it up, can't disagree one bit about being hit and miss, but if you look through some of my older stuff, you'll realise it's a long way from being miss and miss. and miss.

Tue, 2005-09-06 17:26

Brooklands

This is exceptionally good. One of your best Macca - the voice seems very controlled throughout and the ending is handled perfectally - it paints the poem in a different shade, demanding a rereading. Wonderful. Joe

Wed, 2005-09-07 11:42

tcook

I couldn't agree more - it isn't miss and miss - you have the bravery to go for it and inevitably sometimes that means a miss - but there are far more hits than misses in your catalogue.

Sat, 2005-09-17 21:41

dancersiss

that is a great poem great job

heather us nce

Sun, 2005-09-18 22:12

ely_whitley

love it, so simple, so straight, only one or two lines that fell for me, the rest just played its way straight into my head, lovely

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