The Elegance of Spam

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Mon, 2006-10-16 14:41

archergirl

The Elegance of Spam

In my 'Spam' box in my email account, I often get some titillating offers:

A Jeffrey Thorndale suggested that I could, "Learn to Cum Like a Porn Star".

A Ranald Pagan has left me a curiously titled one: 'Triumphant Trepidation'. I daren't investigate what has happened to Ranald to make him feel thusly.

I also get free solicitations to view various parts of male and female anatomy, often intriguingly named.

I haven't (to my knowledge, at least) looked at any porn sites and am dead curious as to how these spammers have figured that I would enjoy watching 'Girls on Girls cum flx' or consume the large quantities of 'V14GR4' they feel I should. Am I missing something?

Mon, 2006-10-16 14:43

yan

A sex life? haha..um...I get lots of penis enlargement spam...shows they've no idea how to target the right market ;) There's nothing more mind-teasing than the incomprehensible eagerly avowed - Dennett

There's nothing more mind-teasing than the incomprehensible eagerly avowed -
Dennett

Mon, 2006-10-16 15:16

maddan

well if it was targeted it wouldn't really be spam anymore would it. I did like this though, a cartoon based on the filterbusting gibberish in spam e-mails. Knew it had to be good for something. keep your grubby mits off my website http://www.too-many-monkeys.com

Mon, 2006-10-16 16:09

justyn_thyme

What I find interesting is that handing out advertising flyers on the street is called "gorilla marketing," but the same tactic over the internet is called "spam." I don't like either one, but I particularly detest the pushy twits on the sidewalks who shove their stupid ads in my face and then take offense when I wave them off, or an a bad day, tell them to sod off. Yes, I know, everyone has to make a living--no doubt the internet spammers say the same thing. Unfortunately, I can't delete the sidewalk spam. "You don't need the light of the Lord to read the handwriting on the wall." Copies of Warsaw Tales available through www.new-ink.org

Mon, 2006-10-16 16:13

yan

If it wasn't targeted it wouldn't end up in an inbox would it. Smart arse. There's nothing more mind-teasing than the incomprehensible eagerly avowed - Dennett

There's nothing more mind-teasing than the incomprehensible eagerly avowed -
Dennett

Mon, 2006-10-16 17:55

archergirl

Well, why in the heck would I want to 'cum like a porn star'? Do they 'cum' differently than the rest of us, or just more often? Why would I want to look at 'clit shots', I ask?

Mon, 2006-10-16 18:18

Jack Cade

So you're saying they *have* targeted the right market then, yan? "What I find interesting is that handing out advertising flyers on the street is called "gorilla marketing," That makes total sense, but did you actually mean 'guerilla marketing'? ~ I'll Show You Tyrants * Fuselit * The Prowl Log * Woe's Woe

Mon, 2006-10-16 21:07

justyn_thyme

Given the appearance of most of those flyer hander-outers, gorilla is probably more appropriate, though incorrect. "You don't need the light of the Lord to read the handwriting on the wall." Copies of Warsaw Tales available through www.new-ink.org

Mon, 2006-10-16 23:59

galfreda

Gorilla marketing - inspired. I used to get emails about increasing the size of my penis, but don't any more. Should I worry?

Tue, 2006-10-17 11:25

#10

bobblehat2023

No, your penis is obviously sorted now.

Tue, 2006-10-17 22:25

#11

galfreda

Phew.

Wed, 2006-10-18 08:43

#12

patmac

There are lots of people who don't receive any email. Spam was invented as a way of making them feel included. My webpage is at: http://www.bookscape.co.uk

My latest killing is:
http://www.bookscape.co.uk/short_stories/human_sacrifice.php

Wed, 2006-10-18 09:17

#13

archergirl

Sadly the curiously-named spammers such as Fitzgerald Wetherspoon have now ceased to email me. Instead I am being bombarded with GiletteSample's exhortations to try a free razor (how did they know my legs are hairy?) and notices that I am the winner of a free Home Depot gift certificate. Alas, Home Depot certificates are useless to me here. Anyone in the States want 'em?

Wed, 2006-10-18 10:51

#14

patmac

Ah, how I wish that I'd been spammed by a Fitzgerald Wetherspoon, you lucky thing. Actually, and I'm ashamed to admit this, I was silently supportive of a spammer once. I found the most amusing story of his escape abroad, accompanied by a wife and lover. Now, to be honest, I thought, isn't that the Robin Hood story? http://www.theregister.co.uk/2005/07/06/rizler_smith_spam_case/ Wife and lover? Is that what happens to all those penis pills? My webpage is at: http://www.bookscape.co.uk

My latest killing is:
http://www.bookscape.co.uk/short_stories/human_sacrifice.php

Wed, 2006-10-18 22:13

#15

yan

No, Jack...what I'm saying is that spam is targeted (to email inboxes and websites) but you could liken it to a wide fishing net...in the sense that..well, I don't have to explain it. There's nothing more mind-teasing than the incomprehensible eagerly avowed - Dennett

There's nothing more mind-teasing than the incomprehensible eagerly avowed -
Dennett

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