The Justice League

Be afraid Peterborough, because there is change in your city,
Its eeked into the pubs, it’s leaking through the clubs
It’s in your homes and roams about feasting on your cubs
It hunts out British values and gnaws upon their bones
It mocks from in the shadows all those people on their own
And who’re they going to call, when they’re picking up the phone?
Cos that change is getting scary, and they’ve got no way to moan

But what’s that?
Is it a bird?
Is it a plane?
No.
It’s a group of fairly inane

Peterborough today website members

Watch them type their way
Through
Our morally
Bankrupt
Embers
Dismembering injustice; unmasking the pretenders
Let us offer them a name, so that we can all remember

The Justice League,
The justice league

Returning Peterborough to greatness while they’re sipping on their tea
They don’t drive souped up vehicles
They don’t skulk about at night
They don’t beat up Super Villains
In Lycra way too tight
They’ve a super powered polarisation to the right
Which they use with super vigor on our paper’s website
Slapping out a wealth of Richard Littlejohn sound bites
About overgrown railway sidings they see when on their bikes
Some of you would probably like to call them little shites
But that is not their name and you people just aren’t nice

They’re the Justice League,
The justice league

Their keyboards are decked out
In army fatigues
And when you next read a story of a child lost in the fog
Or a pensioner falls over
Or gets bitten by a dog
Scroll that little further down and view the message log
Because the justice league are
On
The
Job
And they’ve been on the Bovril
And they’re writing ‘it’s a disgrace’
Spouting anti-Polish doggerel
The Super Villains getting so scared
They’ll soon be needing extra bog roll

And its
‘Holy crochet vitriol Batman!’
Every day at half past three
Someone’s built a community swimming pool
And it’s enraged the justice league

They are the justice league,
The justice league

A new breed of hero that Peterborough needs
Forget about Superman, Batman or The Flash,
They’re tackling our youth culture
With a bang, smack wallop crash
Pinpointing our trash
And questioning the system
A boy taken in for questioning,
Read the justice leagues position
Over a dozen posts hoping he gets bummed while he’s in prison
If you haven’t been convicted, you can’t expect to be forgiven,

They're the Justice League,
the Justice League

Making sure our local people know what to believe
Super Tactless, Super Factless
And with every riled attack
The Justice League of Peterborough
Are taking our streets back
Without even taking to our streets
Wow! That’s really quite a feat
And these legends battle daily from their seat
Discussing prostitution, abuse, theft and arson
Taking offense at anything
Unless it’s been said by Jeremy Clarkson

And so while change is coming
Not all our sky is grey
For the justice league are ready,
They’re eager
On their way
With their command of exclamation marks
They’ll keep those liberals at bay

So...
By all means call the police if there's a riot or a raid
And if your house is burning down then call the fire brigade
But when your backs against the wall and you need an anti post force tirade
Go to The Justice League,
They’ll sort you out,
They’re honest
They spell check
And they care
And heed their warnings, fear the world
Cos there are some twisted fuckers out there.