Atleast they died fighting
By andrew-evans
Wed, 11 Nov 2009
- 747 reads
1 comments
Move it!
Move, move, move
screamed the Captain
right in our ear holes
in case we didn't hear first time.
Over the top we'd go
into the bloody brown earth,
where so many of our comrades
drew their last breaths
just before they were taken by death.
He gave me a wink as if to say
I was next, and he wasn't wrong,
I popped my head over the ridge
to scan the terrain.
Then the devil played the drum
on my skull,
the red hot pain short lived
I never heard the shot fired,
but everyone else did.
At least we died fighting,
so that you could have a future
one which we were denied
when they you sent us to the butcher.
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Comments
That's good, I think you
That's good, I think you should keep the same narrator in the last verse though "At least we died fighting/so that you could have a future..." I think it would be stronger.
Nick
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