Forum Comments

This is a good choice for POTW. Original and edgy, the rhythm voices the precarious balance of motherhood and sanity in the margins of society, where one false move can change everything. The nanny state is only as effective as its staff and so long as some are sicker than those they are obliged to protect, there will always be stress placed on those parents who are trying their hardest to deal with adversity. The narrator's view that the child is a messiah to the mother shows the profoundly spiritual effect giving birth can have on a person whose coping mechanisms may be flawed, and my heart goes out to this narrator.

Murky buckets, Alex. Yeah, its intention was to be 'should I be laughing?' funny, and I'm glad you liked it.

There's no wastage here and I found the poem more and more thought-provoking as it gained ground. All the best Richard

I used to take acid for this purpose but getting up there without aid is the real trick, although I'm not sure we mortals were ever meant to see from above until the afterlife. It's here on the ground that my feet need to be firmly placed and it's taken 46 years for me to realise that, so here is where I'll stay till I get the call from above. Great, dreamy poem much enjoyed. All the best Richard

Hi Pia, I can't think of anyone who would willingly work with these three unless, of course, that information was never made available to them. I've been trying to read my children's stories to schoolchildren but the CRB checks are still not through after at least a year. These checks costs millions upon millions, stopping honest people from working with those they have affinity. By contrast, convicted paedophiles are relocated, rehoused and given cushy deals with benefits so they can be hidden away. They are literally let loose in new communities. There's the justice system.

Will definitely listen to more classical, and please don't shut your cake hole. You've got a great spirit and energy.

Perfectly weighted and poised for a great ending that took me by surprise, because I'd have sold it years ago and probably for peanuts.

thanks Celticman.

Hi Julie, Thanks for reading. Hope you and Ray are well. All the best Richard

Kneaded like a patient, long-in-the-tooth boulanger, you roll this story together, puffs of flour thrown in at just the right moments and without labouring the mind of the reader, as if the words were somehow being said as one read. I had to go to your account to check if you were in fact a man. Your disguise is exceptional, in a literary way, and deserves the SOTW accolade. Well in.

I got a bit confused with who the guy at the hotel was and how he came to be with you. Maybe you're a bit of a dark horse or was it the Tucson fella? Loved the bit about hunting in bins! I hope you have a fantabulosa timeo on isla Marniona. It's the eprfect time to be going. More on Marnie when you've got enough, please.

Hi Cormacru, You're spot on. It's a bit like selling veg. If your veg is well produced and presented, kept fresh and tastes good, people will return to enjoy your stock, which you can replenish safe in the knowledge that it will be enjoyed. If by contrast you have men covered in adverts to guide people to your stall but the veg is ordinary, lacklustre, kept in constant sunlight and tired, the veg will wither away and be thrown, the stall will close and people will feel cheated for even going there. Using the forum topic avenue is something I imagine one of Alan Sugar's bright spark apprentices coming up with.

Cheers Sundays

What a lot of darlings I have on my side! You're all rekindling my respect and good feeling for the fairer sex, which has been sorely dented of late. No more self-pity, I know, but you're a real daymaker. Richard

Hi Barry, Problem is, most of the rioters probably can't read that well, and despite pretty much everything to do with the past, such is the complete lack of care for them. They haven't been taught about the power of books, unfortunately, and who's to say that this doesn't serve the authorities to keep 'em uninformed.. Someone on telly reckoned the British black community had learnt how to be so unruly from the white Britons over the last few decades. An interesting thought and not totally out of the question, I think. Hi Unfolding head, Many thanks for reading All the best Richard

I'm sure that's Walt Disney's formula. no, that's not right- his formula was based on childhood fears of abandonment. Works every time to sell a story. Hollywood lives off regurgitated happy endings, but how can a writer kill off the characters and give a happy ending, sunsets and rainbows? I don't know why but I don't quite get this. Is it my mood? Maybe I'm not concentrating enough.

I enjoyed this. The mysticism of a maternal spirit. Right at the end, there's a typo; s shock.

In this story, I found there to be a betrayal of trust between the boy and his mother. It felt (to me) as if the mother was playing along with her child's instinctual malaise and failed to deal with it in a respectful way, knowing how he pined for incest, which is pretty sick. What sort of mother would confront this issue in a roadside caff. As it is a fictional work, I am entitled to my own opinion as to what I find to be right and wrong in the story's content and any judgemental remarks are made not to the quality of the writing but of its content. The quality of the writing itself I found to be good and quite visual. My question to you is why do you defend the mother in this fictional piece with such gusto?

I could never get my head round Shakey. I prefer 'This old house by Monsieur Stevens.

Yep, familiarity breeds contempt, or mistrust, but its usually for ourselves and only bleeds into our partners when we dont share our problems. A great centennial poem, if thats the right word for a ton up. Keep on truckin, Richard

Nice one, Stimpy. Glad you liked the story and good to meet you the other night. That pub's a law unto itself (ok for early evenings, sure, but...)I'll look up what koan is when I get time. If you put stuff on the site, let me know and I can read it. Cheers, Richard.

Small steps reap big rewards, Rob. Maybe 350? That's a small enough step and it's definitely in the right direction.

A real teardrop of a poem, this reminded me of when I used to watch new rain gather on my car-windscreen from the driver's seat, wondering what to do with my day, stoned, trying to analyse which water-ball would tumble down first, no longer able to take its weight as it slid down the glass. I love your bold message of commonality and the natural voice. As Tina says, pure magic. All the best Richard

I love reading your posts, MaggieG. They're so full of worldly experience and unearthly assuredness. To world leaders, today's wars are all about money, conditioning, oil and drugs, but those who actually fight those wars are decent, brave, love-eyed beauties whose hopes are purely for good, like your husband. I keep thinking about your dog with Marvin's music. All the best Richard

Thanks for reading, Rachel. Looking forward to meeting you finally.

Really homely and comical. Great talent.

Yep, that hit the spot. Hadn't read any of your work before thisd. I can now look forward to enjoying in your presence tomorrow night.

You're back in the driving seat, I reckon. Amazing how photos can evoke smells and feelings and transport us back to the times when we were young. Also amazing how they can get us out of ourselves enough to write something especially beautiful. Rock on, Sundays Child. The sun's out and people are smiling quite without reason.

Took me right there. Very visual as always and so tricky to put the feeling that comes with much of your work. I'll settle for cinematic. all the best Richard

Hi Pia, One day at a time, I'm changing for the better. It's about bloody time! How to forgive parents when they're no longer alive? Through prayer. I do still have trouble with the word God, but try to choose one that fits your idea of a higher power and use that to pray with. You'll see the results immediately if you're willing. All it takes is action. Each of us deserves to set our self free. It's such a waste of time knowing that the only person that traps us in and trips us up is us.

Un petit mort, oh la... Ca fait du bien pour les mecs!?! Great little story full of trouble and worth deciphering.

Sorry, it's £14.50 as Oldpesky says. The family ticket's £34.50 but that's probably for two children, so those with four would have to shell out a nifty to breathe St Paul's air and see the crusty art on the walls. What a con. The website's homepage still has a cute pic of the resigned head honcho! No expense spared there then. It seems weird forgiving the church their untold sins, but it's better than pity.

Thanks Louise. I like it when my words are liked. At 45, I'm waking up to the fact that I want (need, actually) to grow up, so I'm investing time into maturity by giving up old habits and becoming a full-time adult. What a concept! Still, better late etc. All the best and more of the same, please.

i think this site is losing the plot

This story is going so well, and i can't see why it shouldn't be published once it's done, although I do worry about the ending. Marnie sounds so full of self-will, she's unstoppable! You can always tell an alcoholic, but you can't them much. all the best Richard

it's all a question of time, and something else

I like this idea but I think it may be a bit niave to think that councils will see the light and change their ways. These houses are empty for a reason which will always boil down to money. Promises have been made, deals have been done and they're not likely to renege on their spoils. The weight of 1 million bodies/signatures wouldn't change much when the balance of power rests with those who have placed orders for housing stock in dodgy deals with councils. The recent change in law for squatters is a massive blow for those desperately seeking housing and I fear that only countrywide lawlessness (ie. revolution) will be see an end to homelessness and these lovely, unloved homes filled.

Excellent. 'I'll drop the shit off at the twig.' Tough to make a Santa story seem new but this did the trick in bucketloads. Santa sounded like a debt collector.

Crumbs! You may have a point there FTSE100. I'm looking at the shortbread now and wondering if I've been bickying too much on the sly. It's an easy habit to ppppick up.

Really liked the wrist bit. Funniness and sadness aren't easy to mix, but that was a winner. Fiction is fiction, mine is dark and moody but I hope people don't think I'm some shivering-sick fool who keeps tripping up. Fiction should be respected as the art of its author and not mixed up as the reflection of the author's personality. I enjoyed James.

Thanks Rob. looking forward to the 12th? Hope so.

Thanks Kenny, Nice to be compared to Bukowski. I know of him but haven't read him.

I think you're doing more than you think with your illustrious comments. It shows a desire to help and guide (just read your comment for AliBongo; excellently done and well received). Just you keep truckin', Rachel.

Hi again, I forgot to tell you that this poem reminded me of a great picture book called 'The Tiger That Came To Tea' by Judith Kerr.

Just been to visit my Mum in her care-home and this brought the powerlessness of her dementia right back. I can't tell you how weird it is seeing someone so close so unwell but I guess I don't need to. One good thing that has happened is that I have torn down all the useless, self-motivated barriers that stopped me from showing Mum how much I love her, and now show her the purest love I have ever experienced, along with the love I have for my daughters. A very precise, well-voiced, believable piece, and perfect SOTW material for its originality alone.

Simple and meaningful, like a honest brew, gratitude pours from this little ditty, reminding me that I haven't done my bit yet today. All the best Richard