Lion
By braintrain
Tue, 03 Aug 2010
- 887 reads
6 comments
I reek of death
when I cast my eyes upon my victim
the stench fills me
overwhelming me
pushing aside reason
under a wave of putrid maggots
and a maddening vortex of gruesome flies
I dine upon rotten flesh and swallow thick clods
of cold blood
ravaging the corpse to the last bite
relishing the power I gain
feeling immortal
Yet still unsatisfied
I pounce into the darkness on all fours
In search of another
to quench my bloodlust.
Meowwwww
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Comments
Needs a much stronger age
Needs a much stronger age rating, I think!
Oh, and a little punctuation wouldn't hurt.
J x
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Don't forget that we have
Don't forget that we have younger readers. Also worth putting something in the 'teaser' box to prevent the first part of the poem coming up with such strong subject matter, since this is visible.
J x
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love the gruesomeness of
Permalink Submitted by maggyvaneijk on
love the gruesomeness of this, great choice of words and I personally like the lack of punctuation, it's asif the lion is painting a scene with his mind
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