IN HER EYES

It was her eyes that first caught my attention. I couldn't help wondering how it is I have so much in common with someone I've never seen or met before.I saw the dazed blank look;the expression on her face was slightly confused, almost as if she didn't belong.Maybe that was it,maybe that was the reason I felt a connection to this person who now lies cold and lifeless in a cemetry somewhere.

The article questioned whether it was a suicide attempt gone wrong,or right depending on your view.As I stared into the picture the world became silent,I could no longer hear the traffic on the street,the barking dogs suddenly quiet,children weren't laughing and shouting. I studied the girls eyes and I knew,in my heart I knew the answer,this had been no accident,the girl had wanted to die.

The article was filled with quotes from her neighbours,lovely girl,quiet,kept herself to her self,pretty and unassuming.I wondered,not for the first time I must admit,if that was me how would I be described? My mother would say I was always getting myself in a muddle,customers from where I worked would say I was nosey and that I talked too much.Both these things are true,although the art of conversation only ever seems to come to me while i'm working.Standing behind a bar means there is a barrier to hide behind,I can become someone else,a happier me,a more confident version of who I am.

"Oi love, you serving or daydreamin?"
My thoughts were interrupted by a customer wanting another drink.My irritation prickled but I attempted to hide it behind a smile.

"Why have you got a plane to catch?" I asked cheekily. Fortunatly for me it was one of our regulars,Mark,who I had known for years.

"Bloody hell woman."He grinned "Its your job to serve isn't it? If its not too much trouble of course, I would hate to drag you away from the paper."

I gave a big exagerrated sigh "Oh alright" I said rolling my eyes at him "Same again I assume?"
Mark nodded "You assume right love,cheers" He gave me a quick wink.

I finished pouring his pint and placed it in the bar "Thats three pound ten please."
He counted out the correct money and handed it over "So what was so interesting in the paper then?" Mark asked.

"Not much really."I replied wanting him to walk away so I could could get back to reading the article."I was just keeping up with the world events."
"You don't strike me as the type of woman that keeps up with the world news." Mark said.
I shrugged my shoulders "Its all just gosip really and you know how I love a little bit of gossip." I smiled at him again.

Working behind a bar means a lot of smiling. Sometimes it feels as if its so much effort. I feel a little like a clown with a garish overly bright smile painted on.