Why Some Men Might Love Making Lists

Eminent scientits (yes that's scientits) agree that over the period of the last two years the amount of time lost by doctors, nurses and patients of our hospital, has been exactly two years of time - 'i can confirm' said Dr Lazlo McGinty of the Hospital's only medical practice,' that over a two year time period - we can actually see day by day the period of time being lost increasing - each day - right before our eyes - using specialist medical equipment only available from specialist medical websites and ebay - that some days- up to 24 hours of time have been lost... it's phenomenon we're studying closely - mostly through use of specially adapted wristwatches, stop watches and egg-timers fashioned by the recent influx of unemployed clownshoe dealers, who have since the 'great clownshoe slump' of 2010 found themselves down on their luck, and out on our streets -
'next year we're hoping to have lost approximately three years - but we aren't in a position to confidently predict that figure yet'

Benny stopped typing right after this announcement was made. Earlier that morning, which could have happened any time in the last two years, he had challenged the Nurse to make him feel more miserable, so she challenged him to make a list of the best things that happened to him in the last two years. Benny, knowing that this was a trap, told her so. Isn't it amazing? The Nurse then had no other option but to allow him to start with a list of sucky things, knowing it was a trap worth the effort, if left unsaid.

So here is the first list, on second thought, there is no need to reveal the contents of that list, just mention that it contained eight irrational highly recommended things.

The Nurse looked at Benny knowing exactly what he had written, certain that it would be adamantly eight. Here is what she then challenged him to do.

'Now Benny, make a list of nonsucky things of equal length to balance them out. You have all the two years in the world to do it and my permission to avoid it.'

And since Benny had to reappear somehow on abctales and ukauthors - the proof that the last two years he existed, and so did she, he made the list for ol'times sake and fame sooner than "hasta pronto".

Allow me to speak to you in terms of actually being Benny. Because I am, and I am rather sick of 3rd person.

Here is the list:

1. Benny found the Nurse.
2. Unknown
3. Well, that's it.
4. Please balance??
5. Please????
6. Well suck my cock you shitty list.
7. That's better.
8. Oh, yeah my beautiful list.

In order not [here are some brackets to use at your discretion regarding not {{{{}}}] to avoid reading me next time I post something, I must inform you that Benny and the Nurse are

The new Cagney and Rogers
The new Lacey and Astaire
The new Doris and Beavis
The new Rock and Butthead

but not
The new Skunk and FTSE100.

Singing, dancing, handcuffing and pulling everyone's finger I reach no conclusion on your ability to actually witness my reappearance so far.