without
By JupiterMoon
Fri, 13 Jan 2012
- 937 reads
2 comments
without
you catch her voice,
whispering why
within wild waves.
your tie still worn black
a year gone.
each cigarette is seven minutes
of forgetting,
(or not remembering)
as the nicotine crowds in.
it is your smart
black polished shoes,
that reflect the sadness.
that,
and the way you step aside
for couples
in the first sunshine of the spring.
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Comments
The imagery in this is so
The imagery in this is so good throughout that I cannot pick out just one stanza that I like the most,
Now, if you were to rework that line as 'polished black shoes' and add a stanza about a prawn sandwich, you might have an entry for the competition!
http://www.abctales.com/node/618194
J x
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new JupiterMoon hi! I
Permalink Submitted by Cavalcader on
new JupiterMoon
hi! I enjoyed this poem the way
you have mentioned the black tie,
and black polished shoes sad.
Nicotine from cigarette's.
I too saw no mention of prawn sandwich.
all the best with the comp;
And well deserved cherry!
julie
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