Red Shoes

By shoe

Tue, 21 Feb 2012
  • 1371 reads
6 comments
 

I had red shoes like that once
high heeled, scarlet leather
I tried them in my bedroom for practice
'tarts shoes' my mum called them
dirtying me
If I had dyed my hair a shade braver
maybe I would have worn them
Striding boldly up the street
tossing back cherry hued hair
bell bottoms swinging with every staccato step
a self satisfied smile
on my rasberry smartied lips

But she's tall, thin...beautiful
I bet no-one ever offered her
a fiver for a hand shandy

Instead I clogged up my lashes
with 'outdoor girl' and hung out
at the Jean Harlow, trading love bites
and lending out fags to any old chav
who didn't give a toss
that I wore Docs

Certificate 15
Poem
They don't mean to, but they do
Miscellaneous

Comments

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
Liked...a lot, shoe. Great stuff;-) Tina

 

Submitted by ScoZen on
A nice little slice of life here shoe. It reminded me of the other day in the bus station. A young girl clicking past on red stilettos, and she had "...a self satisfied smile..."
ScoZen

Submitted by MistakenMagic on
"trading love bites and lending out fags to any old chav who didn't give a toss that I wore Docs" - ah, that would be me in my last year of sixth form, Shoe! A great character study inter-weaved with the personal. Brilliant! Magic xxx

 

Submitted by scratch on
Mistaken's bang on it. Superb write as usual. "red smarties lips" delicious observation. PS thanks for the tip on capitalisation, amendments have been made.

 

Submitted by shoe on
Thanks Tina,:} Scozzie, I honestly don't know how they manage to walk at all, and the damage it does to your back, not to mention your arches! God! now I sound like an old biddy! Magic, not ANY old Chav surely?!! Hi scratch, yep, smarties were my lipstick of choice, re; caps, I think it's good to experiment, don't you?

 

Submitted by scratch on
No doubt about it shoe. As soon as you mentioned it as a concern I could see that you were of course right. I left the first stanza as it stood because it was already in accordance with your suggestions, however I changed the rest and I am much more content with it. Sometimes I think one can get just too close to something and stop actualy seeing it. Super poem from you with this one as so many have already said.