The rain...position 2

By alphadog1

Sat, 25 Feb 2012
  • 1104 reads
9 comments
 

I love the near silent sound of rain;
its delicate intricacy overwhelms.
yet it never tickles, as it trickles,
forever failing to touch my -near parted- lips,
That rest, warm, plump and heavy;
Close to the cold crystal of the window pane.

I love the radiant light of rain;
I love its fracturing geometry.
For it glimmers, as it glisten’s,
kaleidoscopically slicing in heavy pulsing throws,
To build within, the image of a liquid train
that rails to free my quake-ridden mind
from the sad, the empty and the mundane.

I love the frosted benumbing touch of rain;
I love its clear sharpened ability.
For it reverberates, as it replicates,
In perfect symmetry,
With torrid, vibrant ice bone finger's
That caress the twisted depths that rest,
As yet unburdened from my heaving breast.

I love the fragrant recollection the rain;
It’s rounded scent is rich in pre-possessing.
recalling images of desires needy entwine,
Around -and upon- that heavy purple vine,
and then -once sated- simply sigh,
To finally and so very snugly rest,
and warmly feel you upon my chest
amongst the gentle pattering;
That echoes from this thundering sky.
...Oh how I wish to God that you were mine....

Certificate 12
Poem
Autobiography

Comments

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
This is so romantic, alphadog, and you have used some wonderful imagery. Very much enjoyed;-) Tina

 

Submitted by alphadog1 on
Thanks Tina. I have been trying to get back on top since the tragedy. This is an old piece reworked; and I am a bit happier with this version.

 

Submitted by Highhat on
I love your little ode to rain Andy- It's such a lovely compact poem with lots of wonderful images. Hope you are well? ;)Pia

Submitted by alphadog1 on
body is getting back to normal, with a few twinges... my heart is aching though.

 

Submitted by alphadog1 on
As there are some strong feelings in this piece. so I will not be making any more changes to it; as it has that sensuality and sense of depth I love to reach. So despite there being one more line in the final stanza I'll be leaving it in.

 

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
I think it's beautiful as it is, alphadog. Poems written from the heart are always the best;-) Tina

 

Submitted by alphadog1 on
ive changed it... I hate myself for it. My biggest problem is I simply do not believe I am a good enough poet or writer. I have to fiddle and when its perfect I see typo or comma faults or simply nothing other than a n issue with tone; it might not be there to the reader, but it is to me... and my stupid quest for perfection breaks the honesty of the piece... leaving me frustrated and annoyed at myself. I have the original and I will repost.

 

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
Good man;-)

 

Submitted by alphadog1 on
This poem has left me in a strange place. As both poems "rain" are -in my eyes- equal in style, form and function; and to get around my preposterous need for perfection, I have changed the titles accordingly. Thus making a bridge around the problem, (my dsylexia helps me to think in pictures.) giving individuals whom choose to read the work a chance to be non-judgemental upon the creative and shaping process. The comments, as lovely, welcoming and much appreciated as they are... and they are so lovely and so very beautiful, they are painful too; leaving me feeling very emotional upon the poem. To accept my apparent (its how I conceive it...) talent is quite hard, as I have an inferiority complex; therefore the confidence -I need- to accept this is very tough... to give a picture to define the issue is easier...I have an image within my mind of myself punching a wall made of flint with bare knuckles. Then there are issues relating to how I was taught to write or compose a piece. To approach any piece of work is go through four stages... the raw writing stage, then stages of cutting, shaping and finally after a period away from the work editing; therefore for people to love the first draft of a piece, is genuinely hard to accept and understand, both emotionally and intellectually. I certainly hope no-one is offended by my comments on this post. I have always been a very fragile person, that shatters easily, and getting older might have toughened the bones somewhat, I still have raw nerves and soft flesh that bruise's too easily and scars too quickly... it's why I am careful in my comments here... its not that I want to offend, its just that I know how damaging a word can be. Much love to all of you for appreciating my work. and please keep commenting as I do on others... Andy XXX