Twit-twoo! (I.P.)

1. The rebel would rarely venture to the middle of the pool – he remained to the side, as it reminded him that there was something to kick against.

2. A Canada Goose once bit Ted’s finger. Now when he sees a Canada Goose, he has to bite his tongue so as not to cause a scene.

3. I hate flying. It goes back to an incident with my father and some wax wings. But at least I didn’t have it as bad as my friend Theseus.

4. The squirrel looked on innocently from his branch, but the switch blade protruding from his back pocket told of his sinister method of collecting nuts.

5. An individual can purport their individuality by being the prettiest flower, but Brash Jo did it by stamping the flowers around her into the dirt.

6. My Granny had a tortoise named Bert, who she trained to go to the shop and pick up the paper. She always was a bit behind on the news, and mental.

7. Sandy, as far as the eye could see; she was a big girl.

8. Imagine being Neil Armstrong! Neil Armstrong didn’t have to imagine, but the carpet fitter from Llanelli was thoroughly fed up with his name.

9. Alan the psychologist just wanted a hole in the ground to open up; he could never help it if it wouldn’t help itself.

10. My long-suffering wife asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I said, “a monkey”, but she outdid herself and bought me the Marmo-set.