FORT KNOCKERS

she called her bra , "fort knockers"
for that chest held everything
a cell phone and her gemstones
and her keys upon a ring

and all of the cosmetics
that she put upon her face
some lipstick and some toothpicks
and a canister of mace

her credit cards and wallet
and a little sack of change
some peppermints with bits of lint
strategically arranged

a snappy little derringer
she used for self defense
some doggie treats and rent receipts
the volume was immense

her tweezers and her scissors
meant to squeeze and cut and carve
old calendars and candy bars
so she would never starve

her ipod and her GPS
to find her way on land
a pocket knife and silver fife
in case she joined a band

and mary poppin's handbag
would have taken second prize
her boobs a B, bra, double D
for she required that size

but as the years unraveled
and more goods she did invest
unhappily she found that she
had no room for her breasts

so she cleared out the attic
when she had no room to spare
and sure enough, she moved that stuff
into her underwear