Potential Twitter Mate

So this bloke’s got in touch with me on Twitter wanting to be my twitter-mate. His bio reads “All persons who do not enjoy the goodness and mercy of God become the target of God's justice.”

If I didn’t know better I’d think that was intended as a threat. God’s justice? Satan killed 10 people in the Bible, the 7 sons and 3 daughters of Job. Actually you can probably give Satan a higher score than that. You can probably chalk up another 50 bodies because he also killed all of Job’s slaves, and as Job was pretty minted he’d more than likely have about 50 slaves.

But God killed 2,476,636. The Bible bashers don’t tell you that do they? I mean, they tell you about a few of God’s killings, those that can be retold (with considerable dishonesty) into cute children’s stories - Noah’s flood, David & Goliath, the walls of Jericho etc. so kids can sing songs about them, but they don’t really expand on His killings.

And these figures don’t even include killings that God instructed others to do, those that while he may not have taken an active role met with his approval (David, for instance, buying his first wife with 200 Philistine foreskins) or of course those killings that we’re told about but which numbers have to be estimated because we don’t know the exact figure.

For instance we know God burned to death 250 blokes for burning joss sticks (Numbers 16:35), but we don’t know how many he drowned in the flood, or how many he burned to death in Sodom & Gomorrah, or how many first born Egyptian children he killed.

Well, I found a bloke who’d worked it out by using estimates from the Atlas of World Population History. This fellow came up with a grand total of 24,634,205 people who God killed.

So the score at the end of play is Satan 60, God 24.5 million.

Strange how the perspective changes with the point of view, isn’t it? Most people who claim to believe in the Bible don’t actually know what’s in it.