The Nine Lives of Henry Katz

Climbing over the high walls of Gambino’s fortified mansion had been no problem, not after he’d turned the dial on his ‘Auto-Regresser’ to his homo-erectus, ape incarnation, returning in his mind to the creature who had roamed the African Savannah 1.8 million years ago. But then he’d been faced with the two armed security guards at the north entrance to the house. Fortunately, one of his earlier incarnations, number 5 on his dial, had been a Ninja Warrior from Sengoku period Japan and he managed to dispatch them both using no more than an ordinary garden rake and a length of hosepipe. But then there was getting inside the building, that would have been the trickiest part but reincarnation number 8, the Aerospace engineer came through and somehow found a way to by pass the security system. Unfortunately, Gambino was waiting for him inside; the light of the room he had clambered into suddenly flickering on, some kind of dining room and then he saw a smirking Gambino and two of his black suited, granite faced henchmen standing there, all armed with Uzi submachine guns and Gambino was holding his terrified wife, Janey, hostage, the barrel of his uzi pointed to her temple. “I knew you’d try to use that reincarnation gizmo to save your wife rather than going to the police, Professor Katz”, he said, grinning, “But now, unless you want me to send your wife into her next life, I suggest you hand it over to me”. Reluctantly, Katz slid the bronze coloured bracelet off of his wrist and handed it, his hand shaking, towards Gambino who instantly clawed hold of it. Then, releasing his wife, who ran into his arms, pressing herself against him, the egomaniacal mafia boss slid the auto-regressor over his own wrist. “Now”, he said, laughing, “Let’s see who I was in my past incarnations. Julius Caesar no doubt or maybe Al Capone”. Then, taking his finger off the trigger of his Uzi he used it to turn the dial on the bracelet to 5. Suddenly, however, Katz noticed a strange sort of look fill Gambino’s eyes; like a frightened, timid, clueless sort of expression and then the normally tyrannical mafia kingpin asked, “What would you have me do, master?”. The two goons behind Gambino were sure their boss had flipped his lid but Katz took a chance. “Those men behind you. Kill them both”, he ordered. Impassively, Gambino turned and, pulling the trigger on his Uzi gunned his two astonished employees down in cold blood before they had a chance to react. Then Katz ordered Gambino to hand him the Uzi and the bracelet. As soon as the bracelet was removed Gambino looked like someone who had just woken up from a dream. “What the -?”, he said in disbelief, “What happened?”. “Bad luck”, said Katz, now firmly taking Gambino hostage, “In that past life of yours you weren’t an Emperor, in fact it sounds like you were no more than a slave”.