Reindeer games Chapter 4
By Wes
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Mike and I finished our breakfast in relative silence. What more is there to say when someone who has been taking care of you and your family for 25 years tells you they are, in fact, a god or demigod born somewhere around 681 AD?
Unperturbed by our reaction, Mrs. Ellis nibbled on a biscuit. Her tea, replaced by a mug of hot chocolate complete with whipped cream. Not unusual in and of itself. But she hadn't left the table after dropping that fairly god-sized bombshell.
Picking up the amulet, I whispered. "Awkward." As before, it once again glowed, warming in my hand.
Mike gave me a sidelong glance.
I looked over to Mrs. Ellis but the pleasant faced woman, with slightly graying hair, was not the woman seated across from me.
In her place, a beautiful woman with finely chiseled features and shining blond hair which fell to her shoulders.
Startled, I dropped the amulet onto the table. The familiar Mrs. Ellis returned.
She winked and raised her cup. "The amulet allows you to see the world as it truly is."
I'd had enough surprises for one morning. It was time to go.
I stood,stretched in what I hoped this woman, whom I thought I knew, would consider nonchalant.
Mike joined me as I walked to where we had left our gear.
Both of us left the amulets on the table.
Dressed to go, we headed for the door.
Mrs.Ellis spoke, her voice conciliatory.
"It is an unfortunate situation we face. I regret that there is not time enough for me to explain further."
She motioned for Mike to lower his head, then placed the amulet around his neck.
"The evil one was not to appear until much later. I waited too long to pass on knowledge you possess but do not remember."
Mrs. Ellis placed her hand on his shoulder.
"Yours is the soul of a warrior priest. In my day you would hold a position of great respect, high regard, and honor. You have many gifts. The amulet will help, but only if you ask."
"Great. Mike muttered. "Tomhaiseanna níos mó." (More riddles)
I allowed her to place the second amulet around my neck. What could it hurt?
"You have the soul of the only known child of Morrigan and Lugh, a very powerful and unique combination. Your abilities are that of the gods and your destiny lies amongst the stars."
She leaned in and kissed me on the cheek. "You possess the gift of sight. Soon you will learn to control it. I cannot interfere nor help. However..."
(As she smoothed the front of my jacket. I felt 10 years old again.)
" Trust your instincts. Focus on what you know rather than what you do not. And most importantly, believe in the power contained within the amulet. Only then will its power be revealed."
Satisfied, she took a step back.
"If you are strong the demon and his minions will be unable to defeat you."
"Come again?" I asked "Demon, minions....? We talking demon as in a huge unpleasant fellow - large pointy horns, lousy attitude, breathing fire, smelling like sulphur...?"
"After a fashion." She replied.
"He is no less than that and all of that."
I groaned. "Smaoinigh gur féidir linn a athrú go. Chun yes nó aon?" (Think we could change that to a yes or no?
Mike interrupted, "I thought we were hunting deer. You didn't say anything about demons."
"Didn't know."
"Well, now that we do. I say let's stow the gear, then go and do something. Anything. I'm not fussy. So long as the anything doesn't involve demons, minions, potentially magic amulets, and 1300 year old housekeepers."
Mrs. Ellis shook her head.
" Tá an Demon sheoladh tú rabhadh. Mocks sé Ní mór you.You dul. Más rud é nach bhfuil tú. Beidh sé ar ais mar a thiteann oíche. Agus a scrios tú." (The demon has sent a warning. He mocks you. You must go. If you do not, he will return as night falls and destroy you.)
Mike inched forward "Let me get this straight. Are you telling me, this demon, or whatever the hell it is, was responsible for the damage to my Emma? And if we don't find and kill it it's going to come back and kill us while we're in our jammies?"
Mrs. Ellis pursed her lips.
"Well, no answer, is an answer." Mike tapped me on the shoulder.
"After you."
Mrs. Ellis opened the door. At least I think it was Mrs. Ellis.
The beautiful woman I had seen seated at the table had returned. She gave me a smile, radiant as the sun.
As I stepped out the door, she whispered, "Bí cúramach. Iontaobhas aon duine." (Be careful. Trust no one.)
Reindeer can't fly.
But one thing was certain.
I intended to follow Mrs. Ellis's advice. To the letter.
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Comments
The contrast between the
The contrast between the modern and ancient dialogues is amusing and seems to work quite well, although I’m unsure about your use of a pseudo-foreign language followed by its translation as to me it interrupts the flow of your text. I still haven’t a clue what’s going on here, but I expect that’s intentional on your part. Maybe you’re using ambiguity as a device to keep the reader interested?
A couple of points worth mentioning:
Not unusual in and of itself. Your use of this phrase in the narrative is unnecessary and sounds a wee bit pretentious. It would sound far better to say something like: ‘Nothing unusual about that’ or something similarly simple.
Try to avoid hackneyed and stale description, but don’t be too detailed, especially with people types and how they look…
‘In her place, a beautiful woman with finely chiseled features and shining blond hair which fell to her shoulders.’
That sounds ‘old-hat’. Try something neater and slicker which would fit the mood and tone of your piece: ‘A stunning blonde, skin like honey, now sat in her place’ possibly.
Even that’s not a great example, but at least you should get the idea. At the very least, not only will you add a ‘freshness’ to your writing, you’ll give the reader room to use their own imagination. At that point they (the reader) may well want to put their own fantasy figure in that chair - a Marilyn Monroe or Lady Gaga type, perhaps? Who knows what throws people’s switches? You don’t have to be too stereotypical or rigid in writing it, that’s the point I’m trying to make.
And describing a woman ‘with finely-chiselled features’ sounds somehow a tad masculine, even though it may well be the fact.
Overall it’s still pretty good sci-fi/legend/mythology.
Well done, Wes my boy... moving onto Part Five.
Trev
TVR
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