She chose me Part 3

*****

As I walked through the streets of Clifton I puzzled why would Sandford turn up here and now? Both children were of an age to make all their own decisions. They may not be financially independent but they were independent in every other way. I couldn’t see what I had to offer him. I arrived at the restaurant and went in. Once inside I was asked for my name and when I gave it I got another surprise.

“Ah yes Mr Jennings, your guest has arrived, let me take you to your table.”

The Clifton Sausage is a small boutique restaurant in Clifton village. It was Will’s favourite place specialising, as it did, in his favourite food, sausages. Not the sort of low in meat sausages that often form the traditional cheap meal, bangers and mash. The restaurant’s sausages were full of meat, and a wide variety of meats with more exotic spices.

“Of all the restaurants in Bristol you choose this place, it’s not far removed from a greasy spoon.” Those were the first words Sandford spoke to me, as he offered his hand.

“Perhaps you should wait until you’ve tried the food before you make comments like that.”

“Yeah, maybe. I got you a lager, I hope that’s alright.”

“It’ll do, I’d have preferred a nice Pinot Noir, but lager will do for now.”

 The waiter brought us a couple of menus, and Sandford asked for a bottle of Pinot Noir. I noticed him grinning as he looked at the menu.

“Are you having a laugh? It’s got bubble and squeak on this menu, I haven’t had that since I was a kid. My mum used to make it to use up the leftovers.”

“Try it, I guarantee it will be better than you mum used to make. The wild boar and apricot sausages are out of this world.”

The wine arrived and the waiter took our order and left us with a basket of bread. As I sat there eating bread I watched him trying to figure out how to start what he wanted to say. I, on the other hand, wanted to get started.

“So Sandford, what’s this all about? The children are all grown up now, they make their own decisions. Neither of us can make them do anything, so why are you talking to me and not them?”

“Vaughn, you don’t mind me calling you Vaughn do you?”

“Vaughn’s fine.”

“Thank you, and you can call me Terry.” I nodded to him. “Ok Vaughn, what you say is correct, but you can still help me if you choose to. I want to help them Vaughn. I can open doors. I can make sure they want for nothing but I can’t make them accept my help.”

“Well that makes two of us.”

“But you can help. Look Vaughn, I stuffed up big time nine years ago. I tried to treat it like a business deal. I got the best lawyers, made you an offer I thought you couldn’t refuse. I won the day but I couldn’t make them love me, quite the reverse. Anything they wanted, I gave them, but they still hated me.”

“Is that why you caved in?”

“I caved in, as you put it, because of the actions of our son.”

“Our son?”

“Well the tests proved that I am his biological father but I accept  you are the one they call dad. William brought that home to me with a vengeance.”

Our meals arrived and we started to eat. Sandford was surprised that he was really enjoying his meal. He made several appreciative noises as we ate.

“So tell me Terry, what did William do to change your mind?”

“Well, I was happy to let them keep running away. The police would always bring them back. I expected them to change their minds after the holiday. However, when the time came to go back to school, William refused to go. The night before the start of term we had a row about it. I told him. `I’m your father, and you’ll do as I say’ He looked at me with real hatred in his eyes. `You’re not my father. You’re just a man who fucked my mother.” It was the mention of Victoria in that way that made me slap his face. Just a slap you understand. I just lashed out, and I did it in front of my staff. Will took himself off to his room.”

“The next day, the chauffer, who should have been taking them to school, came to find me. He said I should see them before they left for school. I went out to find William had a black eye, so bad he couldn’t see out of it. I asked him how he came by it. `You did it.’ He said. `everyone saw you.’ I swear to you Vaughn, it was an open handed slap I gave him. He’d hurt himself in order to blame it on me. He told me I didn’t want to know where Zoe had bruises. He was going to set me up as a child abuser.”

“I saw how determined he was and I just knew people would believe him. In a way I was proud of him. He’d beaten me, so I gave in. He got what he wanted. Now I accept it was the right thing for both of them.” 

“Well, that’s something he never told me, sounds like he’s more devious than I thought.”

“He takes after me in that respect. Like I said I was proud of him, he knew what he wanted and was prepared to do whatever it took to get it. By the way you’re right, the food is very good.”

We finished our meals still talking about the children. Much to my surprise I found myself warming to the man. I even started to feel a little sorry for him when he told me about the way his marriage had broken up following the death of his sons.

“The divorce cost me an arm and a leg but it was the right thing to do. Without the boys there was nothing left to bind us together. I was still in love with Victoria. Sorry perhaps I shouldn’t talk about her, but it wasn’t just the boss taking advantage of his P.A.  I really did love her, and I thought she loved me.”

“She did. She left me a letter. I didn’t get it until after I met you in London. She told me all about it.”

“She told you I wanted to marry her.”

I nodded.

“That’s another battle I lost. I really expected you to stay in Sunbury, especially after GKN offered you promotion.” My mouth fell open in surprise. “Don’t look so shocked Vaughn, I didn’t want to lose her. If that meant leaning on a few people to make sure your employer made it almost impossible for you to leave, then so be it. That’s why I was convinced  you knew about me. Why else would you turn down an offer like that?”

“You won’t be surprised to find out that I was tempted. It would have made a big difference to our family but Vicky assured me we could manage and urged me to do what would make me happiest. I guess that had something to do with you also.”

Few people had ever seen what I saw that evening, the millionaire industrialist Terence Sandford with tears in his eyes. He used a handkerchief to dry them.

“What do you say I settle up here and we go somewhere and get a proper drink?

I indicated my approval and in five minutes we were walking down the hill to a large pub with a huge terrace at the rear. We went straight through to the garden and bought our pints at the terrace bar. The pub owed much of its popularity to the excellent view of the Clifton Suspension bridge. I love to look at that bridge so I found us a table facing it. I sat with him, both drinking beer now and enjoying the warm evening air.

“You done a good job with them.” Sandford said, his speech now reflecting his humble origins. “The kids I mean. My people told me you’d struggle, you being on your own and all. Let him falter , they said. Then when he does you can step in and offer to help. The problem is you didn’t falter. William has graduated with first-class honours and Zoe is well on the way. I’ve got to hand it to you Vaughn.”

“It wasn’t hard, they’re good kids. They made it easy for me. They take after their mother.”

“You still miss her don’t you.”

“Every hour of every day.”

“It didn’t make any difference, me and her I mean.”

“It did for a while. If she’d been alive when I found out it might have been different. It’s hard to hate someone who’s dead, especially when she’s left you two children to bring up. Besides Will has enough hate for both of us.”

“I got a bit of that when he was with me. He’s not mellowed then?”

“He has, his sister is still working on him. Seeing you today didn’t help.”

“Yeah, I’m sorry about that. but if I tried to make an appointment, you would have refused to see me.”

“It’s nothing personal, but why don’t you get to the point. Tell me what you want from me while we are both sober enough to deal with it..”

“OK, I want to talk to them. I don’t need your approval for that, but they need to know that it’s all right with you. I got it so wrong the last time that they may see talking to me as a betrayal of you. They need you to tell them that you’re happy with it, or they won’t listen to me. One day they’ll both be very rich, but why should they wait until I’m dead when I can help them now. Please Vaughn, I know you want what’s best for them, help me do this.”

I sat sipping my beer, gazing at the bridge and thinking about what he’d said. He was right of course, I wanted them to have the best start in life. Why should I stand in the way of the man who could give it to them? Because he fucked my wife, that’s why. That was years ago Vaughn, why should your children suffer for the actions of two other people? While this argument was going on in my head, my gaze was fixed on the bridge and his was fixed on me.

“It’ll have to be on my terms. I’ll talk to them and set up your first meeting, after that it’s up to them.”

A smile spread across his face. “Whatever you want. This calls for a celebration, finish your beer and I’ll get the brandies in.”

I don’t remember much more about that night. I do remember stumbling out of Sandford’s roller and being helped to my front door by the chauffer. He even opened my front door for me when I had difficulty finding the keyhole. I recall the words I said, or should I say slurred, as I left Sandford.

“Now look Terry, I may be pissed but that doesn’t mean we’re mates. I’ve said I’ll help you an I will, but that doesn’t make us mates.”

“Nah Vaughn, course not… I mean I’m an arrogant bastard an…an you’re …a good bloke. That’s what you are Vaughn…You are a good bloke. How could we possibly be mates?”

*****

“I’ve done my best for them.” I told her. “I hope it was good enough. I’m sorry about Will. Give him time, I’m sure he’ll forgive you, the way I have. I wouldn’t have told either of them until much later. But Sandford had to stick his oar in. It was the wrong time for Will.

“I’ve met him again recently, Sandford that is, but you probably know that already. I’m afraid I got more than a little drunk. If circumstances were different I might even like him. Not now though, I’m always aware that he had a part of you that should have been mine alone.”

“I should have known I’d find you here.” The voice from behind suddenly made me aware of my daughter’s presence. “Sorry I forgot the anniversary. What is it now, eleven years?”

I nodded. I was on my knees tending the grave and as I looked up at her she looked so much like her mother that it brought tears to my eyes.

“She can’t hear you Daddy. She’s gone, you have to accept that.”

“I do, but it helps me, to talk to her. How did it go with Sandford last night? You talked to him, got a few things straightened out?”

“I suppose so. To tell the truth it was all a bit weird. He tried really hard. He has a certain charm. He was extremely complimentary about you, which was a good job really. Will would have decked him if he’d said anything bad.”

“But you got everything sorted out? You know where you stand with each other?”

“Yes, I think so. I told him he can give up any thoughts of leading me down the aisle. That right belongs to my daddy. My children will never call him Grandpa. Will still doesn’t like him, but he won’t shut him out. We agreed that he could be like an uncle. I think that’s about as close as we are comfortable with.”

I stood up and hugged her and she kissed my cheek.

“Now Daddy dear, we’ve done something you wanted. You must do something we want.”

“OK, what do you want me to do?”

“Move on, Dad. Mum’s been gone for eleven years now and our house still looks the same. If you ever took a date back here, all she’d see are pictures of Mum. It wouldn’t really tell her there was any future in a relationship with you. You don’t have to forget about her, just make room for someone else. It’s such a waste, lots of good women are longing for a man like you. Give them a chance, it’s not right for you to be alone.”

It brought tears to my eyes hearing my daughter speak about me this way. I’d never really considered other women as they were growing up. I had been out with a few, but nothing that was ever going anywhere. Maybe Zoe was right.

“OK, I’ll try, but I can’t promise anything.”

“Good, I’m going home now to start planning a complete redecoration of the house, starting with those photos.” She put her hand on my chest. “She’ll always be right there, you don’t need her all over the house.”

She kissed my cheek, turned and walked away. I watched her go and realised she was right, as long as she was around I’d never want for a reminder of her mother. I got back to work, picking up leaves and bits of paper, pulling up weeds from the gravel, and changing the flowers for fresh ones.

I looked at the gravestone.  “Beloved Wife and Mother” it said, and beneath was the epitaph, “SHE CHOSE US.” I was about to leave when a soft voice came from behind me.

“Does it get easier?” she asked.

I turned and saw a woman in her mid-thirties. She was tall and slim with auburn hair down to her shoulders and green eyes. I was lost for words as I feasted my eyes upon her.

“I’m sorry.” She said. “I didn’t mean to intrude, but I’ve often seen you here when I come to visit my husband. I don’t suppose you’ve noticed me.”

“I certainly have, but I didn’t want to intrude on your grief.”

“You mean like I just did.”

“Oh no! No, you haven’t. I was just about to leave.”

“Well, like I said, I’ve seen you here a lot and your Victoria has been gone a lot longer than my David. I just wondered how you coped. People tell me it gets easier with time. Is it true?”

I looked down at my wife’s grave then back to lovely woman before me.

“Would it be awfully forward of me if I asked you to join me for a cup of coffee? I know a place within walking distance of here, where they sell the best coffee in the county, roasted on the premises.”

“You mean the place in Station Road? Yes, I’d like that very much.”

As we walked she told me her name was Jacqueline and her husband was killed in a road accident, having fallen asleep at the wheel. I told her about Vicky and her gradual decline. By the time we reached the coffee shop, all the awkwardness had gone. We ordered and sat down to talk.

“You obviously still miss Vicky. Tell me, what do you find the hardest part to deal with?”

“The empty bed.” I said almost without thinking. I looked at her and suddenly realised how that would sound. “Oh I don’t mean the sex, though of course I do miss that.”

She smiled at me. “You mean the looking across the bed and not having someone smile back at you. You mean not having someone there to reach out and touch. I miss having that big, broad back to snuggle up to when I’m feeling small and insignificant.”

“Yes, that’s it exactly.”

“Me too. It’s not about sex, a woman can get sex any time she wants it. I’ve heard some of the young men in the office talking. ‘Jackie must be gagging for it by now’ they say, but the truth is I’m not. Plenty of men try it on, even the married ones. I like sex as much as the next woman. Making love to my David took me to places I never knew existed. It wasn’t just the sexual excitement, it was being with him. Unless you’ve been there you can’t understand, I’m  half a person without him. Is that how you feel Vaughn? Does it get better?”

“Yes and yes. That’s exactly how I feel, and yes, it gets better, but not much. I’ve been lucky I’ve had my children to take care of. Until recently, that's taken my mind off of it, but the hole in my life is still there.”

She looked at her watch. “Goodness, is that the time? I must dash. It’s been lovely talking to you.”

I passed her a business card. “Here is my number, call me anytime you want to talk.”

She took the card and wrote her own number on the back and passed it back to me. “I was brought up to believe the man should make the first move.” With that she got up and left.

The barista and owner of the shop came over to collect the cups. “I’m surprised you two haven’t met before. She comes in a couple of times a week, always on her own.”

 I watched her walk away, pulled out my phone and sent a text.

Maybe two halves can fit together. Have dinner with me tonight.

I saw her stop and pull her phone from her pocket. She looked at the phone, looked back at the coffee shop. She did something with the phone then turned and continued walking. Moments later my phone chirped to indicate an incoming text.

Call me, and ask me properly.

*****

Many things have happened in the years since Will’s graduation. My consultancy business acquired a large number of high-profile clients and I had to start looking for more staff. Will has moved to Cambridge after he got a bursary to study for a PhD. Zoe starts her final year at university and has already been offered a place on a Voluntary Service Overseas project, along with a young man she seems to talk about a lot.

That will leave myself and my new wife on our own in the house. Yes, I married Jacqueline and even that wasn’t without surprises.

Two weeks before the wedding, the travel agent rang to say that the villa in Menorca that I had booked for our honeymoon was no longer available. However, as their one millionth customer, I had won three weeks, all expenses covered, in a luxury resort in Mauritius with first-class air travel. They even threw in £1,000 spending money.

On the flight home I was sitting back sipping the complimentary champagne while Jackie played with her iPad.

“Vaughn, it was Travellers Choice that paid for all of this, wasn’t it?”

“That’s the name of the agent I made the original booking with, so I guess so. Why?”

“You’ll never guess who owns it.”

“Let’s see, it can’t be Branson or it would be called Virgin. It must be someone we’ve both heard of or you wouldn’t ask me to guess. So the most likely person would be Terence Sandford.”

“That’s not fair, I expected a lot more guesses than that. After all, his companies are not renowned for throwing their money around. How did you know?”

“Call it inspired guesswork. It was probably his wedding gift. I’m sure Zoe would have told him I was getting married”

“But why the subterfuge?”

“He probably knew, I wouldn’t have accepted a gift”

She put her head on my arm. “I’m so glad I chose you.”

“What do you mean? You chose me. Didn’t I have any say in the matter?”

“Nope, women always choose, men just make themselves available and show what they’ve got to offer. It’s the same throughout nature. The female always chooses and I chose you.”

“In that case, I’m highly honoured.”

“So you should be.” She giggled.

She reached out, took my hand, pulled it to her and kissed it.

“Vaughn, I’m thirty five now. Do you think it’s too late to try for a baby.”

“I don’t know, but the trying sounds like a lot of fun.”

“You, sir, are a very naughty man,” she said as a smile lit up her face.

“Isn’t that why you chose me?”

“It may have had something to do with it,” she said, trying to look coy.

I stood up, took both of her hands in mine and lifted her from her seat. “There is no time like the present.