Wake Up Call

Gold cherry
Poem of the week

By sid

Wed, 07 May 2014
  • 4841 reads
19 comments
 

I was lying in bed, just revelling in

bank holiday languor when you

walked in and said ‘can you

take me to hospital, babe.

I’ve broke me shoulder’

I leapt and flailed and tripped

and cursed myself for being so

fucking inept, and then we

drove in frantic silence and

waited in agonizing suspense,

and then the doctor pressed and

pulled and twisted and you held my

gaze the whole time and your

eyes were so wild and I was

shocked that such a savage

creature could be mine and I

must admit I fancied you just that

little bit more, like I’d only just

discovered that my tabby was a

lion, and then he pressed too hard

and your neck snapped up and you

gave him that look, like step back

motherfucker  or I’ll bite and he

retreated very  swiftly, for such a

portly little man.

 

Next day your talk’s delirious, your

face emaciated by pain and you were

too thin before, drifting in and out of

consciousness, hands scuttle and crawl

in your lap, lips munch and distort and I

feed you drugs and fags and tea and

soup and more drugs, but nothing’s good

enough, and beside you I crunch crisps

guiltily as you writhe in agony and I

know it’s heartless but I can’t help it

if I’m hungry and sometimes you

talk to people who aren’t there and

once I saw you kissing, so lovingly at

thin air and the room smells of

suffering and the dog keeps on

disturbing you or those dreams where you

jerk awake propel you into sudden torture

and I’m afraid your weak heart will

up and decide it can take no more

and I don’t know what to do or who to

call, I dialled 111; the lady was brusque

to say the least and she knew fuck all,

and all I know is that I’m perishing

for fear of losing you.

 

Certificate 15
Poem
Autobiography

Comments

Submitted by scratch on

Excellent.  Love that you've written this sid.  12 category?

 

Submitted by sid on

Hi Scratch it's great to be back! Hmm yes you're right the language is a bit ripe, I'll make it 15

 

Submitted by blighters rock on

You do shameless irony like no one else, making me guffaw like a goat (especially while you were munching your crisps) and then you manage to pull my bleeding heartstrings with a harpoon and smack me at the end with lush/harsh reality. 

 

Submitted by sid on

Thanks, Richard! I had forgotten how much I enjoy your imaginative commenting

 

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on

how nice to see your name on abc again sid. This is a fantastic poem, as it should be coming from you. Congratulations on the golden cherries. I hope he gets better soon. I had gastro-enteritis once, and I remember my boyfriend at the time sitting on the end of the bed eating whole shrimps, doing unmentionable things to their heads. I never felt quite the same about him afterwards...

 

Submitted by sid on

ha ha ha I hope he doesn't think less of me for eating crisps! Thanks for reading it sure is lovely to be back

 

Submitted by VeraClark on

It's a beauty, Sid. It runs on panic and heartache, with a jolt of crispy humour and just knocks you with that emotional break at the end. Back on form and delighted to see you .

 

Submitted by scratch on

Too right.

 

 

Submitted by Ray Schaufeld on

This is great, personal,factual,flows well, full of love        Elsie

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on

sid...so very good to read you again...with that golden touch of yourssmiley

Tina

 

Submitted by mandylifeboats on

I'm not a great one for poetry and only like the bits that sound like prose or make you think: yes, that's it entirely. But this is something else! Nice to read someone's work that comes from feelings rather than situations. And what a nice name: Sid.

In admiration

MLB

 

Submitted by sid on

Thank you for all the lovely comments I can't believe this is poem of the week I feel overly honoured personally my vote was for Silver Spun Sand's Since Parkinson's Was His thank you all for being so kind

 

Submitted by Linda Wigzell Cress on

  I love this sid, so cleverly constructed, and heartbreaking at the end. Great work.

Linda

Submitted by torscot on

 

I'm with the others with this little tale, very enjoyable indeed

 

  

torscot

Submitted by The Thinking Cap on

loved it!!! gave me mixed feelings... ;) 

Submitted by thanksforthepar... on

An arkwardly delicious thread of tension running right through it...right to that piquant final line. So true to life. xx

 

Submitted by luigi_pagano on

While joining in the general consensus of the worthiness of the piece, the pedant in me cannot help pointing out a mispelling that sticks out like a sore thumb. The word in the second line should be languor. Paraphrasing the old British Gas advert "If you see Sid...Tell him!".

Best, Luigi

 

Submitted by sid on

Hi all, thanks very much for reading, really appreciate your comments. Luigi, this makes me very cross. Thanks for pointing it out

 

Submitted by scratch on

Lol!  I hadn't noticed but Luigi has eagles' eyes