Just you wait

just you wait

for all the moments to collect you

homeless man i am,

it's so simple after all

all this fighting and war is useless...

just you wait

while i lie under the sky like prince andrei bolkonsky,

staring at the sky

seeing the beauty of the clouds, the dark underbelly

as continents of charmin stuffiness roll by

feeling the incredible lightness of being

loving milan kundera

admiring the bravery of nadine gordimer

so i can't spell,

just you wait until

i tell you the truth, it's so simple.

 

the chinese have been going all in

in just a few key areas, they know

how to surround their enemy

and make them give up their position

just like a chinese game.

 

and we've been thinking for so long

trying to strike the riches of knowing the truth,

feeling the green gleam of genius,

now i know how stupid i am

forgetting my chinese roots, how

vain and inflated i've been

denying my phallus.

 

reality is so light,

i really can't believe how stupid i have become

since I've been Americanized, on a friggin power trip,

losing my soul,

losing all my sensitivities,

speaking like a brute...

i've become a hollywood hero.

 

i shall shave my head

and count the grains of the sand,

think simply from now

not despise those without sat words,

correct the gramma of those who know not words to speak,

not despise the wisdom of the poor.

 

but i am like joseph campbell though

i am a conservative who hangs around mostly

liberals,

admires the jews

but is skeptical about their methods,

loves art

that is filled with internal myth and meaning.

 

once indians and east asians were poor

and because they were,

they were spiritual,

now east asians look like vampires,

are more caucasian than caucasian,

suffer from protestant denial or catholic denial...

who are these people

do they change their faces to meet the faces that they meet?

are they into the impersonality of t.s. eliot

and its exhaustion?

 

how lucky i am to be so light,

not wealthy, not lost,

not having to change my face for boss, father, sibling, enemy.

Let me be within your womb

my Lord,

do not cage me in Job's paradox

or lock me in the infinite regress of Dostoevsky.

 

Love me Lord

for you are my shephard.

I shall not want.