Every Drop

Cherry

By lenchenelf

Sun, 03 Aug 2014
  • 2438 reads
6 comments
 

1

'Kin hell, she uses pith as well;

squeezed that lemon 'til tastebuds

sear no other than, her thought.

 

Julienne strips of zest lost

within bitterness, breasted

on waves, sound tossed

 

out, for swell of, Me.

 

2

 

I would drown, horribly

without a chance

 

for breath, suffocated

 

in compression.

 

Give us multiplicity,

favour of this
atmosphere,

 

chance to draw

Oxygen, we need.

 

3

Two or three drops of juice

left, to season a jest;

 

swallow or die. No chance

for process, sensitvity

 

allow individual creativity.

 

Is this how you breathe,

taste, acidulate colour,

 

ingest

 

human response in meme.

 

Certificate PG
Poem
Doodles

Comments

Submitted by scratch on

Zing in this one Lena.  Love it.  

Not sure what the stanza numbers bring unless I've missed something.  That's irrelevant mind you, this is excellent.  

Congratulations on the pick!  Someone apart from me obviously likes it too!

 

Submitted by lenchenelf on

You are kind, as always Scratch. Quite right about the no's, just separating out ideas/perspectives,  I had thought to come back to this doodle and give it a thorough drubbing, might do yet :)

regards

Lena xx

 

Submitted by maisie on

yes I'm a fan on this one. loved the surprise of it, and I felt the poetry run through my mind as buttered honey would... mmmm:)

maisie angel Guess what?  I'm still alive!

Submitted by lenchenelf on

...for your lovely thought Maisie :)

Regards

Lena xx

 

Submitted by Ray Schaufeld on

Good opening line and stays good, Lenchenelf. Sharp, rhythmic, gives us a biting taste of emotional starvation and does the rare thing that only poetry is open to of showing an expansive canvas and a vivid atmosphere with very sparse words.    Elsie

Submitted by lenchenelf on

Yes, in some writing, lack of emotional cues for personal response problematic, the author may have buttoned down their own feelings but do not allow space for essential engaement by the reader. There were several strands to this in formation, not just synathesia and information processing; but, as noted previously, a first draft that could do with an overhaul! (Always in a hurry!) Much appreciated.

Regards

Lena xx