The argument with a chap who thinks everyone is a clock: Part 1

Man 2: "So, I believe you're a clock, my dear clock-y chap"

Man 1: "I assure you, I ain't!"

Man 2: "But when I gaze upon your face, I hear a quiet ticking sound, ergo, you must be a clock"

Man 1: "It's a watch, you stupid bast- er bandersnatch!"

Man 2: "I see the clock before me is wearing  a watch. Interesting? or absurd?

Man 1: "I'll give you absurd!" [Man 1 kicks man 2 in the crotch]

Man 2: [holding his aching genitles] "That was merely, painful but not absurd Mr...Clock?

Man 1 [while kicking Man 2 in the crotch  2nd time] "It's Mr Smith!"

Man 2: [while grunting in agony] "Ah! The clock likes to think of itself as more fitting of the human tribe by giving itself a rather dull, anglo-saxon surnname. Most...admirable"

Man 1: "You're obviously quite mad! My name is John Smith, and I'm as human as you!"

Man 2:"Ah! The clock likes to think of itself as more fitting of the human tribe by giving itself a rather dull, anglo-saxon firstname. Most...admirable"

John Smith: What's your name?

Man 2: "Ernest Thistlewick Brayton Pennyfether Johnson IIX, but my friends call me Scrimp"

John Smith: "Want a drink?"

"Ernest/Scrimp": "I NEVER CONSORT WITH CLOCKS!!!"

J.S.: You rasict bastard!

Scrimp: So you are a clock! Also, how dare you abbrieveate your name with out my permission!

J.S. Permission?

                                                 TO BE CONTINUED