Listen

Cherry

By EB

Wed, 19 Aug 2015
  • 2487 reads
15 comments
 

Doesn't listen;

doesn't tell us anything.

Lazes all day long; earphones on;

secretly eating the night,

squirreling - cellophane wrappers 

hidden in cupboards and drawers -

underwear under the bed. 



Dirty laundry - all we ask 

is that she bring it downstairs. 

But she answers as she thinks

we want to hear. Sorry. Doesn't listen;

doesn't tell us anything -



like where that cut came from.

I dressed it, once I'd seen it -

before she yanked her sleeve down 

on it. Bring us your dirty washing 

so we can clean it,

and stop the hiding - it's all we ask...



wrappers in your drawers and cupboards.

Listen for once - tell us - not



what you think we want to hear, 

but something to let us know

we're getting through - past 

that weary whiteout stare.

Yes, we're talking -

again -

to you...





For God's sake,

bring us your dirty linen - 

it's the only thing we ever asked,





but she's never listened; 

never told us anything.

If she had, 

we might just understand 

about the overdose.

Certificate 15
Poem
Love

Comments

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on

very good. Love the contradiction in the title

 

Submitted by EB on

Thanks insert.

Submitted by Stephen Thom on

very effective, liked the repetitions of listen, lack of empathy in the directness&part. liked wonderful passage:  'Listen for once - tell us - not/what you think we want to hear, /but something to let us know/we're getting through - past /that weary whiteout stare.'

 

Submitted by EB on

Hi Stephen. Many thanks for taking the time to read and for picking out a best passage.

Submitted by Bee on

So focused on sorting out symptoms it's easy to not see them for what they are and miss the signs. As insert noted - such irony in the title.

Bee

Submitted by EB on

Yeah, they're too occupied with trying to get through to her to see she might be saying something. Thanks Bee.

Submitted by love_writing on

This is great, although I knew it was going somewhere with the secrecy of the 'wrappers' the ending still came as a shock. Very nicely done. 

love_writing

Submitted by EB on

Hi Love Writing. Glad it did. Thanks for letting me know. Appreciated.

Submitted by RML on

I really liked this. Being a teenager myself, I can relate with the girl. Most teenagers keep to themselves and thier friends. This really gave me insight on how it must feel on the other end. 

Submitted by EB on

Hi RML. Your comments interested me because as a young person you can see it from her perspective, but that you can see both sides is great and something many take a long time to learn to do. And some still don't. Because there are two sides here. Thank you. Comments very much appreciated. 

Submitted by london_calling79 on

From eye-rolling, tutting, 'typical' teenager poem to stark seriousness in the space of a stanza. Where do you draw the line between teenage angst and something you will have to deal with?

 

Submitted by EB on

Hi London Calling. Good question. Thanks.

Submitted by EB on

Thanks Eds for the cherries.

Submitted by rayjones on

Painful frustration between young and old, parent and child; when there are no bridges there is no touching turning bleak loneliness into a precipice, you draw that picture very well.

Ray

Submitted by EB on

Sorry I missed your comments before, but thanks again Ray.