'Mine's a Saveloy!'

Cherry

By Silver Spun Sand

Tue, 22 Sep 2015
  • 2815 reads
14 comments
 
 
'Mine's a Saveloy!'
 
Closer to who he will become,
I watch him cycle off down the street;
my words, in one ear and out the other, no doubt,
his scarf blowing in the breeze...
 
the one he’d worn in the snow, all those years ago –
tied around his neck, like string around a parcel.
Such my gift to this world.
 
Closer to when it won’t be cool
to reminisce about those songs we used to sing...
‘Ten Green Bottles, the Old Woman who Swallowed a Fly
and One Man Went to Mow,
 
and when that question, ‘How could I live without you?’
will be alien to his lips.
 
Further away from bedtime stories and the day
we queued for half a day in the rain for a five-minute ride
on a big-dipper,
 
and when we’d got home, I hugged him dry,
and he said he loved me to the moon and back again.
 
Closer to when I’ll quip, ‘Don’t forget to bring
your dirty washing, oh and drop me a line...
when you’ve a moment, or a phone call might be nice,
 
as presently, I watch him demolish his fish and chips,
and he tells me, ‘Well, I’m a growing lad’, after nicking
half of mine, and me, nearly telling him, ‘Please –
don’t go’.
Certificate PG
Poem
Silver Spun Sand Poems
Love

Comments

Submitted by VeraClark on

Found this deeply moving. I think it's the simplicity you've opted for. Not that it isn't complex but your colloquial dialogue, those deliberately chosen acts of togetherness don't seem a big deal until that last stanza. You nail that fear and dread wrapped up in loving - in letting go, in never wanting to, losing the boy to a man, the apron string scarf around his neck. Hang on tight! It's really lovely.

 

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on

Thank you, Vera...as ever, your in depth comments are worth their weight in gold.

Tina

 

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

This is so very moving, now you've really set me off, my darling ones grown and flown...beautifully effective in its simplicity and vivid moments.

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on

I know, Philip...brings that there lump to the throatsmiley  But I guess, at the end of the day, we wouldn't have it any other way.

Tina

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Nice picture of such a caring relationship – son or grandson! (don't think I get the title, sorry, must be thick or out of touch!) Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on

Hi there, Rhiannon...I see Philip's been to the rescue before mesmiley  Yes...the title  is the first line of  the poem, and maybe I should make that clearer.  Thanks,  so much, Rhiannon, pleased you enjoyed, and if you're 'thick and out of touch', I'm a warthogwink  Mind you, I guess there's some might agreesadwith the warthog thing, I mean.

Have a peaceful day.

Tina

 

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

I took the title to be the words he did not catch in the first few lines...

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on

Ta, Philip.  Spot on.

 

Submitted by loquaciousicity on

An endless spiral... c'est la vie...

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on

You can say that again, Terrysmiley  Ain't it just a fact?

Tina

 

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on

There's something very emotional about a mother's love, as you describe in this poem Tina. Wanting to reach out and protect them, yet knowing that those childhood moments are gone and we have to let go.

A tug of love indeed.

Jenny.

 

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on

So glad you enjoyed, Jenny...and a tug of love, most certainly.

Tina

 

Submitted by tibi popovici on

oh, I am not good of describing relationships, but definitely you are, Tina. It's so different then I would expect, of course, in better, but so deep and touching. Nice!

T.

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on

So pleased you thought so, tibi, and my thanks to you for popping by.

Tina