Stolen Dreams

            Pain sears through my body and I cry out. An immense tidal wave of agony engulfs me . The pain becomes my whole world and I withdraw from reality, shutting off my emotions. I must stay strong.  

            I become aware of a stranger kneeling beside me and for a few seconds I surface from the pain haze . She holds my hand, offering words of comfort, reassurance. I tell her what happened. My brain reels from the truth as I speak. The horror of what I have seen too awful to accept or comprehend.

            I fumble in my pocket, pulling out my phone and I thrust it at her.  "Ring Dan. 'I plead between my involuntary cries. "Tell him what's happened."

            She stands and moves away to make the call. I feel utterly bereft at the loss of her presence. Abandoned, Alone. The pain overwhelms me again and I lose all sense of self.

            When she returns I tell her again, hoping that she will say that it was just a horrible nightmare, that it didn't really happen. But she doesn't.

            The pain takes me again. It grows and grows until it threatens to overpower me and I feel the tears flow. I must stay strong.

            A second stranger arrives dressed ina familiar green uniform. I am only vaguely aware of what she is doing as she assesses my injuries; carefully removing one boot, my jacket. "...compound fracture..." are the only words I hear before I'm dragged back down beneath the waves of unbearable pain.

            The sound of sirens momentarily breaks through the haze. Then I drift off again.

            I hear voices nearby and I open my eyes - maybe Dan has arrived. Instead  I see a bicycle wheel next to me as a cyclist tries to manoeuvre past my prone body. He avoids looking at me and I panic. What is so bad that he can't look?

            I glance beyond the wheel for the few seconds I can hold it together and see policemen dotted around - one talking  to the lorry driver, one diverting traffic, two with the paramedic. I drift off again.

            The next time I surface I see Dan walking towards me. Relief washes over me. As he approaches I reach for him,  I long for his touch, to draw strength from him.  But he's angry.  He doesn't comfort or reassure me.  Instead he voices his anger at the policeman, ignoring my outstretched arm.

            I call out his name, barely mustering the strength to make a sound but he hears me. He reaches out and takes my hand but his attention is not directed at me. He looks around, trying to make sense of everything. I call his name again.  He looks down at me then kneels beside me. I tell him what my mind still refuses to acknowledge and as I finish  the damn breaks. Clinging to him I sob until the pain swallows me again.

            I can't do this anymore. I can't bear this pain. I will unconsciousness to take me - to end it. Darkness begins to close in around me...

            Then a voice calls my name. It tears me back into the pain and confusion and fear that I so desperately want to escape from.

            "Can you hear me?" the voice asks. "Kay, can you hear me?"

            I nod and groan.

            "I am going to give you something for the pain."

            It can't come quickly enough. I endure the explanation, then finally I am offered a mouthpiece. Greedily I inhale the gas, breathing deeply again and again and again. I feel myself sinking . The darkness opens before me and I gratefully fall into its welcoming embrace. The sounds around me begin to fade out. The tension begins to leave my body...

            "Kay, Don't fall asleep."

            'Nooooooo!'  I plead silently. ' Leave me alone. Please, please let me go.'  But the voice is insistent and the mouthpiece is removed. I begin to cry.