Hoist me up

“Morning Terry. Have a good weekend?”

“Yes thanks, Matt. Wife’s birthday Saturday. Went out to a show and had a few drinks afterwards. Still feeling a bit squiffy, tell the truth.”

“Well we’ll just do up to floor 48 then today, OK? There’s only 11,000 glass panels on the building. Ha ha.”

“OK. I think I can manage that. Up to 48, if I don’t look down. Just hope I don’t lose hold of the squeegee!”

“Ha ha. Hope not, Terry.”

“We’ll do up to the 87^th on Wednesday then. I should feel a bit more myself by then. I won’t even look over my shoulder. I know you can see as far as Beckenham but nothing ever happens there so no need to bother.”

“Right then, Terry. Up we go. You get in the cradle first. I’ll just grab an extra squeegee in case we let one drop.”

Matt speaks into his walkie talkie. “OK Ben, wind us up then, we’re ready to go.”

The cradle jerks its way up to the 42^nd floor where office workers start waving at Matt and Terry and making faces.

“Don’t mind them, Terry. They always do that. Like to see them do our job.”

“Silly wankers.” Terry squirts extra water on the window in front of a man with his tongue out. “Think they’re funny, don’t they. I’ve a good mind to open my flies and…”

“No, Terry. Better not. You know what’ll happen.”

“What, Matt?”

“They’ll complain to our manager and we’ll get the sack. As it is they’re sueing the company for gender discrimination. They want women to do this job.”

“Like to see the wankers’ reaction to a couple of girls on the cradle, Matt. They’ll go crazy.”

“Ha ha. And the ones underneath will be able to see right up their skirts!”

“Somehow I don’t think they’d be wearing skirts, Matt. Gets pretty breezy up here, as you know.”

“Yeah. Nearly blew my hard hat off last week. I’d forgotten to fasten the chinstrap.”

“They could let the girls ride with us in the cradle, couldn’t they, Matt? Or just me and a girl on Monday to Wednesday and you and another girl on Thursday to Saturday.”

“Don’t think the manager would like that, Terry.”

“He’d want to come too and only two people are allowed in the cradle, unless they’re very thin.”

“And he weighs 17 stone, I should think.”

After a while.

“Well, Terry, all done now. Time to go down to earth. I’ll tell them to let us down. You feeling better now?”

At the bottom.

“I feel fine now, Matt. It must be the fresh air up there. See you tomorrow then.”

Yeah, see you tomorrow, Matt. Hope it doesn’t rain.”