Quinn and the Interview
By The Other Terrence Oblong
- 3132 reads
“Which would you rather be Quinn, an egg or a butterfly?”
It was one of those quirky interview questions that panels use to catch interviewees out. Luckily, Quinn had prepared thoroughly and had an answer ready.
“An egg.”
The panel marked their papers, seemingly impressed.
“Why did you leave your last job?” asked the woman from HR.
“I was made redundant,” Quinn said, “They needed my desk for an elephant.”
“And why do you think we should employ you?” asked another panel member, who’d introduced himself as Mantel.
“I think my main strength is my name,” said Quinn. “It’s short, not too common and easy to remember.”
“Very good,” said the woman from HR. “And do you have any questions for us?”
“Yes,” said Quinn. “Could you tell me about the job. The advert just said Geoff’s Job. What does it entail?”
“We’ve no idea,” admitted the HR woman. “Geoff never said what he did.”
“But it was very important,” added Mantel. “Every time I spoke to him he said ‘Not now Mantel, I’m doing something important’.”
“And where’s Geoff now?” Quinn asked.
“Nobody knows,” said the woman from HR. “He disappeared suddenly just over six weeks ago.”
“We’re worried,” said Mantel, “That his work may have piled up in his absence, which is why we decided to advertise the post.”
“‘May have’ piled up?” said Quinn.
“We’ve no way of knowing,” said Mantel. “As I say, nobody knows what he did.”
“Well,” said Quinn, “It’s lucky I’m here, I did a very similar job to Geoff’s Job at my last company, before the elephant arrived. I’m sure I’ll soon sort out the backlog. I’ve got lots of new ideas for the role.”
“Such as?” said the lady from HR.
“Such as a total rebrand , to bring it up to date with the current direction of the company. I was thinking of calling it ‘Quinn’s Job’.”
“Quinn’s Job,” said the woman from HR. “I like it. When can you start?”
“I just have,” said Quinn. “I can’t muck around, I’ve got six week’s backlog to catch up on and a complete rebrand to organise. I need a desk, computer, phone, expense account and a key to the executive trampolining room.”
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Comments
splendidly surreal - it does
splendidly surreal - it does tail off at the end though (still your achilles heel Terrence)
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Fantastic and very resonant.
Fantastic and very resonant. Some things are best left hanging.
Parson Thru
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Surreal, yes. Unreal, no. I
Surreal, yes. Unreal, no. I've worked with many a Geoff and a Quinn.
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Sounds like a job I could do.
Sounds like a job I could do.
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