Do you really need that?

Rolling it is an art. 

You have to make sure the cigar you are using is not stale and that you broke down enough to make it a good size. It's not about how often it is consumed but the way you do it and how you are do in it. There plenty of ways that you can spice it and enhance it but only you know how far you are going to take it. You say you do it because the high gives you an even higher mentality. The type that enlightens and opens the eye in your mind. Your mind can wonder beyond the every day borders you are normally wondering about as you go about your day. You say you have control, i trust you. I don't believe you.

What is your addiction? 

What can you not live without? 

Baby you look so unhealthy. 

You don't eat food. you are nauseous all over again. 

Hun, I can always smoke smoke with you, as long as you don't spike it. I don't like the spike because I can reach that mentality all on my own. I am able to see what I want and understand the boundaries I must not cross unless I am ready. Stop craving a habit. Stop craving the moment. You don't need extra. You say you have it under control. I believe you. I don't trust you.

Six months down the road and we are arguing about money. I hate arguing about money because money comes and goes. We need to pay our bills and rent is coming up. We have nothing yet you can buy your miscellaneous items with the money you got from your parents. I wish you would stop doing that. Yes we need the money but I am working for it. You don't need to ask your parents for 40 every time you run out. You say you got me. That i can trust you. Honey, I'm trying to trust you. I don't believe you.

A year goes by and and you are in between jobs for the 4th time this year. I have to work double and we are cleaning buildings after work. I hate cleaning after people. I hate having to clean their piss off the toilet and scrubbing their butter filled dishes. I hate having to mop after the same spot I have already mopped but they stepped all over because they had to walk down the hall. 

I am tired. 

I am hungry.

Do we even have food at home?

Did you take my card again?

 I only had 30 in my bank account.....

Great.....

You hold my hand and tell me to trust you. You got this....

You got this....

A year and half. The house is a mess and they cut the water. Our light bill is two months late and we had to ask for an extension.... I am tired of living like this. I want to go back to how it used to be when...... well... I lived alone.... I had what i needed. I paid my bills on time. I had food in my fridge and I had peace in my heart. 

Two years later and we fighting again because we have to move into my parents house. You can't fucking keep a job and all you keep asking for 20 fucking dollars. USING  ME AS YOUR FUCKING EXCUSE KNOWING DAMN WELL I DON'T SEE ANY OF THAT SHIT!!!!! 

"She needs money for gas."

That was your excuse. 

You bought your hit my name and got high with it......

I don't want this life... 

I don't want to move. But i have to.

Box after box after box..... all my stuff is out and all your stuff is out. Goodbye home... We are living at my moms because I can't hold us both.... And all i hear is that "shit just be hard" but i don't see you trying......

You said you got this.... That i could trust you. I've heard this chant before..... No more babe.... no more.... 

This is where your high has taken us....