severed soul

By MarciaMarcia

Thu, 31 Oct 2019
  • 1121 reads
3 comments
 

severed soul   by MarciaMarcia

 

steeling time’s soundings

severed

loving breath from loved...presence

leaving 

......unbearable

......unbreathable 

unfathomable........abandon

deeply....in-within

reaching.......without

a cocoon of womb’s

nurture......suffocated 

rips free its clenching

torn in barbed......gapping abyss

propelled

fells the body

falls tumbled....spun 

wind whipped

in spiraled flicker 

energy-struck surges 

within cosmic dissonance

beats silenced in cloaked particle time......

severed soul.......leaves all

lights.....lifts in flight 

floating.......dissipates 

within distanced

reverberating drum

echoed into infinity 

all a part of.....apart from 

the illusive beyond

 

Certificate 15
Poem
Talecatching

Comments

Submitted by Sim on

A deeply moving description of alienation. The fragmentary form of the poem suits the subject matter. (Should steeling time's soundings be stealing time's soundings?)

Lines that particularly affected me were: "beats silenced in cloaked particle time" and "all a part of ... apart from the illusive beyond".

 

Sim

Submitted by MarciaMarcia on

Hi Sim

this is my 5th attempt to respond to your comments on this poem. 
this is a test again. MM

Submitted by Sim on

Hi Marcia

I think I understand now that your first line meant "steeling (oneself against) time's soundings", and that what you are describing is separation rather than alienation. How painful it is to lose a loved one.

 

  

Sim