old time religion

old time religion

my Nottingham church

of the Pentecostal persuasion

decreed a season of prayer and fasting

for a miracle healing

to the legs of one of the elders 

I added, ‘sort out X's dodgy legs’

to my prayer list,

below a lottery winning ticket,

and a parking space at Homebase,

‘thank you, Jesus, much obliged’

but I had my doubts

when the pastor cast Satan

from the Sunday congregation

demanding ‘doubters’ leave the hall

I left my seat like ‘last supper Judas’

slunk the ‘carpet of shame’

and stood outside, despised, alone

inside the believers went bananas –

‘alleluiathankyougodandpraiseyouJesus,’

singing, dancing, beseeching,

demanding, wailing, reminding

the Lord of their week of fasting,

chanting centuries-old promises

conjured up by... someone or other

I did not hang around

for the after-church cuppa

… as I heaved the elder’s wheelchair

up the stairs the Sunday after

I was tempted to go,

‘I told you so’

but nobody likes a know-all.

[a true account – they pinned their entire faith structure on getting a miracle (and despite its failure they carried on regardless) - my unbelief meant I was ostracised, called a pariah and banned... sometimes a guy’s just gotta do…]