There's No Discouragement... - Episode 3

A continuation of the story begun in"She Who Would Valiant Be..." and continued in "...'Gainst All Disaster"

The young Lady huddled in the corner of the dimly-lit, smoke-filled room.  She felt deeply uncomfortable and highly out of sorts.  The length of material she was using to cover her face and hair was not helping matters, although it did have the advantage of masking some of the worst effects of the smoke, along with the sundry smells emanating from the other inhabitants of the room.

Who was in the room, and how many of them there were, was rather difficult to discern amongst the smoke and the gloom.  The only other person she could definitely recognise was her maid, who was currently involved in some transaction in the far corner, which seemed to involve a deal of earthy chuckling.  If anything, this irritated her more than the presence of the others, about whom she knew nothing and cared even less.

Presently, the maid completed whatever business she had been about and came over to join her mistress, clutching two earthenware jugs.

“Well,” she said, landing heavily on the bench, “that didn’t go too badly, all things considered”

“I’m delighted that you seem to be enjoying yourself!” the young Lady said, frostily.

“I’ve been sorting stuff out for us” the maid replied, taking a hefty swig from one of the jugs, “for a start off, I’ve got us a drink apiece”

“What is it?” The young Lady sniffed her beverage, suspiciously.

“Never you mind what it is, just get it down you, it’ll do you a power of good.” The maid belched, softly, “on top of this, I’ve got us a bowl or two of stew we can have in a minute and we’ve got a bed for the night.  That’s a good day’s work by my reckoning!”

“Stew?”

“Good for yer, it’ll put ‘airs on your chest” the maid said, approvingly.

“I don’t want hairs on my chest” the young Lady responded, with alarm.

“Just a phrase, m’Lady, don’t mean nothing by it” the maid chuckled.

“When you say we’ve got a bed for the night…”

“That’s right, lovey.  A proper bed.  Make a nice change from that damp cave, won’t it?”

“I take it you mean we each have a room?”

“Ah, now, no that’s not quite how it is.  You see, it’s only a little place, not grand like your castle, so there ain’t many rooms to be had”

“You mean we have to share a room?” The young Lady asked, with horror.

“Not just a room, to be honest” the maid muttered.

“Oh no, you don’t mean we’ve got to…share a bed!”  What little colour the young Lady had, drained from her face.

“It was all they had and we ain’t got a lot of money to throw around.  What little I managed to…find, on the battlefield, well that’s more or less gone on the drink, some stew and a bed for the night”

“I’m not sleeping in the same room as you for another night!  Apart from anything else, you snore! I hardly got any rest at all last night, what with the hard floor, the howling wind and your snoring”

“Well, you were out like a light when I got up first thing and, anyway, I do not snore!”

“You most certainly do!  Dreadful noise.  Sounded like some wild beast stuck down a hole”

“I thought you might be grateful of a proper bed, you being a Lady an’ all, but if you want you can always go back to the cave.  Don’t let me stop you” the maid crossed her arms and sniffed.

The young Lady weighed her options and decided, on balance, that a bed for the night (albeit shared) and a bowl of some indeterminate stew was probably a better option than hunger and another night on a cave floor.

“Perhaps I will have some stew” she said, eventually.

“That’s the ticket, lovey.  You’ll feel better for a good drink, something hot insider yer, and a decent night’s sleep”

“You seemed to be having a jolly time, earlier” the young Lady observed.

“Me?  Nah, not really.  I was testing the water to see if there was any hope of selling some of that jewellery we’ve got but it’s a bit too close to home here.  I reckon we’ll need to get to the next town to unload that.  Mind you, I did find out a bit more about the battle.”

“Did you?  Who from?”

“You see that bloke in the corner over there?”

“Is that a person?  I thought someone had just piled up some old clothes on the bench”

“Nah, that’s Old Benjamin, he works on your Lordship’s estate.  He was one of the lads your Lordship drafted to go and fight”

“And he lived to tell the tale?” The young Lady asked, excitedly.

“Well, yeah.  They don’t go much for propping corpses up in this Inn, if you get my drift?  Any road, like he was telling me, he marches off with them all and then they stop and your Lordship gives a stirring speech…”

“I’m sure that he would.  He has a way with words” the young Lady said, loyally.

“Yeah, well, anyhow that convinced a load of ‘em that there was no hope, and they sloped off ‘ome…”

“Traitors!” the young Lady snapped, a little too loudly.  The pile of clothes in the corner stirred a little.

“Hush, me Lady.  Let’s have none of that sort of talk, if you don’t mind.  As I were saying, after this ‘ere stirring speech, what was left of them marched up to the field of battle.  When they got there, it was pretty clear that they were heavily outnumbered and the other lot had got better weapons and armour and stuff, so a bunch more of them slipped away”

“Cowa..” the young Lady began, but was stopped by the maid’s hand suddenly being clamped across her mouth.

“Begging your pardon, miss, but I’d quite like to get through the day in one piece, if you don’t mind”  She nodded pleasantly to one or two of the inhabitants of the room and made a swirling gesture by her head.  “Now then, do you want to hear the rest of this tale, or don’t you?” the maid hissed at her mistress.

“Mmmf!” The young Lady confirmed.

“Right” the maid gently removed her hand, “any road up, the next thing is your Lordship raises his pennant on the spear…”

“That was my scarf, my favour” the young Lady smiled.

“I know it was, ducky.  So he raises that with his left hand, then, with his sword in his right hand he brings his right arm down in a sweep, to point toward the enemy style of thing,” the maid brought her right arm down in an arc to illustrate her tale “to tell our lot to charge…”

“How very gallant and courageous!” the young Lady said, breathlessly.

“Ah, well yes, it could have been, ‘cept when he brought his right arm down like that, he can’t have been looking proper at what he was doing…”

“I know he had trouble seeing through that visor” the young Lady nodded.

“Yeah, well that must ‘ave been it, ‘cause instead of charging, he cut off his own left hand and down went the spear and your favour, m’Lady”

“Oh no!  How dreadful!” the young Lady gasped.

“Well, yeah, ‘cause when they saw this, most of the rest of his army decided to do a runner and the other side wet themselves laughing.” The maid stifled a giggle, “From there, it must have gone from bad to worse like, only Old Ben couldn’t tell me nowt more ‘cause he cleared off with the others, which is how he comes to be sitting here now”

“So, my Lord did not lose his hand in combat?”

“Only through fighting with ‘isself” the maid sniggered.

“Then, he may not have lost his life!  He may have lived to fight another day?” the young Lady brightened considerably.

“Well, yeah, I suppose.” The maid conceded, “provided he didn’t come across anyone more dangerous than ‘isself”

“I think I’ll have some of that stew now” the young Lady beamed.

“Hold on a minute, I’ll come and give you an ‘and” the maid offered, with a broad wink.