The Seat Belt.

I had heard about a lad who had violently attacked another lad, and then drove off at speed with the police chasing him, within a few minutes, the car was crashed and the driver and his friend with him both had died instantly! In fact, not just died, but beheaded!  

My son Daniel, knew them both, neither were wearing seat belts. It was shock to us all. I didn’t know either of them. Very quickly t-shirts were for sale of them both as Angels, to raise money towards their funerals. Daniel was given one, he wore it with pride of his friend Paul the driver. Then slowly as more details came to light about what Paul had done just before he died, I didn’t want my son wearing a t-shirt, in support of Paul!

The person that Paul had attacked, in an awful way, was very ill in hospital, it was a cruel, life changing assault. And not only that, Paul with the speed that he was doing to get away from the police, killed his friend in his car! It was too sad for words. Their poor parents! When they should have been asleep in their beds at night, and had paid for it with their lives. I’m sure when they went out that night, they never dreamt in a million years, that it would be for the last time! When the details emerged about what Paul had done as his final act, well his second final act, the attack was the deliberate one, but killing a friend by driving far too fast, that was his final cruel act, I just didn’t like Paul! If he’d just died on his own in the car, I would have thought, justice was swift, but he killed not just himself, but Ray too. Poor Ray, he must have been SO frightened, in his last final moments. I was shown his family, on social media, they were such a close-knit loving family. For all those who knew Paul and Ray, they would never have imagined them as friends, years later.

The newspapers didn’t give much information about the lad who was violently attacked by Paul, but someone I know, knew Paul’s brother very well and he had told her himself, what the newspapers had kept hidden and she had told me.

The same day of their shocking deaths, I said to Daniel, “When you are in your friends’ cars to you ever wear your seat belt?” I already knew he answer, Daniel replied, “No, never.” I said, “From today, I want you to promise me, you will wear your seat belt every time you go in your friends’ cars.” He replied, “I will, I promise.” All of my kids’ lives, I have told them never to use the word, ‘Promise’ “Just let your yea be yea and your nay be nay!” So, they both know when I say, “I want you to promise me,” They know, that I am dead serious.  

Ray had a lovely send off. It must have been heart-breaking for his parents, I’m sure they have wanted to ask him a thousand times, “Why?” What were you doing in his car, at that time of night?” They didn’t even get the chance to say to him, “Goodbye.”

The police were doing their investigations, so Paul’s body was not released for his funeral, for a very long time.

One day, Daniel came to our home and he was wearing the t-shirt with Paul on the front, I said, to Daniel, “I don’t think it’s a good idea to wear that t-shirt,” He said, “Why not?” I replied, “Because of what he did just before he died,” He replied, “He was my friend, I will wear the top in his memory.” I was sad, for I wanted to protect him, for wearing that top, would show the lad and whoever and wherever his friends were, that my son was a, ‘supporter’ of Paul.  

Daniel told me, “I will be going to the funeral,” Now that did trouble me, my mind started to go into overdrive, for I thought there might be a reprisal, for what would be better than sitting ducks all in one place at the funeral! I told Paul my husband my fears, he agreed with me, he didn’t want Daniel to go either. It sounds awful, but in my eyes, young Paul was a criminal and a murder. I love Daniel very much, I don’t think he knows, just how much, and didn’t want anything to happen to him at the funeral.

A long time past, then Daniel told me the funeral date, and I really hoped as it was so far in advance, that by the time it arrives, that he would forget to go. He had planned to go with his two other friends.

I had noticed the day of the funeral had gone and Daniel hadn’t said anything to me, so I typed it in and it came up, and I actually watched the funeral on line. I tried to see if my son was there, there was a lot of people manly young, I didn’t watch it all, but the bit I did watch was very moving. After all, a young man, for all his faults and mistakes had lost his life, his Mum and Sisters were crying. I remember saying to Daniel the day he died, “He literary, lived fast and died young,” He said, “I know.”

I waited, a while and then I said, to Daniel, “Did you go to the funeral?” He replied, “No, Steve and Josh didn’t want to go on the day, and I didn’t want to go on my own.” But I having watched the funeral and saw that it had gone without a hitch, no reprisal, I wished that he had gone, to let him experience it all, the loss, the grief, the pain that was caused, and much more. My son is a good lad, but so was the lad sitting next to Paul in the car! He was sadly in the wrong place at the wrong time. I am sure Ray’s Mum wouldn’t have been at Paul’s funeral, for it was Paul who had caused his death. But no one had forced Ray to be there, he’d happily gone out with Paul that night. On reflection, if I had known in advance, that there would not have been any trouble there, I would have gone with Daniel, for it would have been an experience he would never forget. We can’t get the day back, just like the lads can’t get their lives back. There was a lot of people there. let’s hope lessons were learnt.

Did anything good, come out of this tragedy? I asked Daniel recently, “Do you still wear your seat belt in your friends’ cars?” He answered, “Yes.”