Buddha Strikes Again

Posted by TJW on Mon, 28 Nov 2022

Had my wallet and checkbook out to pay bills last night.  Left it on the table, left the chair pulled out. This morning, getting my shit together, discovered my wallet and checkbook chewed to hell: driver's license, debit card, wallet, all chewed and gnawed and reduced to fuck all.  The rabbit had jumped on to the pulled out chair then onto the table then raised hell.  I was running late so all I had time to do was gather up the detritus, curse, "Damn it, Buddha," and go to work.  Little fucker gets only ONE cookie tonight.

Comments

Submitted by celticman on

Buddha teaches many lessons. 

 

Submitted by TJW on

He teaches many lessons, but most of us are poor students.

V/R 

TJ

 

Submitted by Di_Hard on

you will be a poorer student if he keeps eating your money though richer in experience :0)

That is dedicated chomping eating a plastic credit card! Do you leave sticks around for him to chew?

 

Submitted by TJW on

You ain't lying.  He even pulled out the Andrew Jackson and destroyed it.  I used to give him chewing toys but he never chewed them, just picked them up and tossed them.  He's lucky he's so goddamn cute.

V/R 

TJ

 

Submitted by Di_Hard on

:0) Try a stick if he doesn't like toys? Though remember to check for splinters if he does like that!  Also, don't know if you have poisonous trees/shrubs where you are, maybe google

 

Submitted by TJW on

Didn't realize you meant actual sticks. Used real rocks and stones for the snakes and lizards, washed them in antibacterial soap and baked them in the oven to kill everything.  Shit ton of branches, twigs and sticks in the yard cause there's a shit ton of trees in my neighborhood.  Good idea.  Could be he doesn't give a shit for artificial sticks.  Only toys he cares about are Richard Parker, Mitch and Flower: former a plush tiger, latter plush meerkats.  Yeah, I named his toys.

V/R 

TJ

 

Submitted by Di_Hard on

tried googling "do rabbits like to chew wood?" They do :0) ps  just read your comment on Rhiannon's poem - poinsettias are a bit risky, google: "Holly, mistletoe, poinsettias, lilies, laurel, and Christmas Rose are all on the POISON list for rabbits (and other animals)"

 

Submitted by TJW on

Did my homework for me.  Thanks, baby doll.

V/R 

TJ

 

Submitted by Di_Hard on

it is lovely to solve a problem :0) Rabbits need to chew wood because their teeth keep growing all through life. I read on Google. This is because I should be washing up

 

Submitted by TJW on

Pointsettas are outside so Buddha won't have access to them but now you got me worried about the stray cats, squirrels, possums, raccoons.  Go wash up.  Gonna have to wash up myself from sweating at work and then wash up the dishes after cooking supper.

V/R 

TJ

V/R 

TJ

 

Submitted by Di_Hard on

they probably won't eat them as have lots of other stuff? though the poinsettias might not like being outside as they need to be warm all the time

 

Submitted by TJW on

I don't think being warm all the time will be a problem in Florida, though it does get to freezing or below now and then, especially in Winter.  Guess I will have to bring them inside with the other plants, put them in the bedroom and keep the door closed against the chewing monster.

V/R 

TJ

 

Submitted by Di_Hard on

was thinking about this while washing up - make sure there are no rabbit illnesses in the wild round where you collect sticks from

 

 

Submitted by TJW on

Think I'll get driftwood from the beach, no rabbits there.

V/R 

TJ

 

Submitted by Di_Hard on

Argh! No! It will be salty!

 

Submitted by TJW on

Along the river then, it's brackish, but mostly fresh since it starts with groundwater and marshes.

V/R 

TJ

 

Submitted by Di_Hard on

that sounds like a good idea :0) there are lots of sites giving advice about it, must be a thing lots of people think about: https://www.thesprucepets.com/safe-woods-and-plants-for-rabbits-1239351#....

 

Submitted by TJW on

Keep it up and I'll have to start paying you as my research assistant.

V/R 

TJ

 

Submitted by Di_Hard on

I won't hassle you any more :0)

 

Submitted by TJW on

You ain't harassing me, damn it.  Hard to express tone with words so I should edit:. and I'll have to pay you as a research assistant, sweetheart.

V/R 

TJ

 

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on

My dog  ate an entire family-sized chocolate pastry thing once - we had literally taken our eyes off it for two minutes! And my cats managed to drag a HUGE roasted turkey off a table once (it was bigger than they were). To make it much much worse, they were staying with my friend's family (very embarrassing) - they weren't invited back!

I hope your rabbit is suitably apologetic TJ - or at least I hope you manage to find him something less valuable to chew!

 

Submitted by TJW on

His attitude is I'm cute, don't have to apologize for nothin'.

V/R 

TJ