Misguided In The Early 90s

By skinner_jennifer

Tue, 26 Sep 2023
  • 1599 reads
16 comments
 

Dear diary...

 

What may have seemed like impulse back then, leaves me drawing back curtains; greeting the sunshine and wondering! Why me..what about all those people who go through exactly the same experience and say it was easy.

I remember teetering on choices, those energies in my head playing tricks, causing fear to stare me in the face, as I protest importance of selecting right option. Conversing with imagined voices relaxes equilibrium, bathes impulses to advancing action; releasing those shackles of wavering.

As I recall lock turning in front door, reassuring senses that everything would be fine, I'm excited...yet still slightly apprehensive; network of what ifs negotiate my brain, and consequently resulting in doubts once again, yet I consign them to that pigeon hole of uncertainty – after all the dawn of a new day is about being fearless...taking risks.

So here I was wearing my jeans with red checked shirt, Dr Martins and leather jacket feeling so cool, fixated on my destination and thinking about one of my heroes of the early 90s; those gorgeous tones of Linda Perry the American singer with 4 Non Blondes, I thought she was so alluring in her trade mark outfits and pierced nose. That same night I would be clubbing, where me and friends would freak out at Level Three and sing at the top of our voices to “What's Up!” releasing so much energy within our bodies.

Anyway recollections of that shop haunt me to this day. It was bathed in soft light as you entered, where records were sold along with sweatshirts of your favourite bands. Then downstairs in the basement it was tattoos and piercings. There lurking behind the counter was the supposed master of his art. He told me to take a seat, eager to take what looked like pliers to my nose, reminding me of a hungry beast. This man was reminiscent of the lead singer with the Cure, I could feel his raven eyes gazing at me, black finger nails drawing closer to my cheeks. Then I felt and heard an ear piercing crunching through what seemed like bone, heart wrenching terror radiated from my nose; so intense I could not contain tears escaping in a deluge, feel them rise wallowing in my pain.

Now years later I'm left with a scar at the side of my nose – blemish of that crushing day, and I was led to believe there wouldn't be any discomfort...now I'm not so sure, yet it seemed like a good idea at the time.

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Comments

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

It sounds as if it could have gone much more wrong than it did!

There are so many things you can do impulsively with others when you are young and don't want to question safety etc. And some things can leave real regrets and damage. Rhiannon

 

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on

Hi Rhiannon, yes you are so right. There are not many things in life I regret doing, but I have to say this was one of them, and I was in my late 30s so really should have known better. I don't think I ever fully grew up until my mum and dad died, then it changed me completely, the responsibility was so overwhelming.

I suppose it's why I appreciate what I have today. I think its only through making mistakes and coming out the otherside that we learn, so its not all bad, but thinking about the I. P. just bought back the memory and gave me a reason to write.

Thank you for taking the time out to read and share your thoughts.

Jenny. smiley

 

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on

oh no! That does sound incredibly painful - but after all the pain, why didn't you keep the jewellery in? I hope you got some enjoyment of it afterwards at least?

 

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on

Hi insert, yes it was extremely painful and I couldn't remove the stud because it was pierced so close to the bone. I had to go back a week later and have it removed, which was painful too. I actually kept it in for a couple of months, but started to hate the look...it just didn't suit me and I felt so conscious of being  stared at.

So many regrets about the whole experience, but that's life and I have no one to blame but myself. But at least it gave me something to write about which can't be bad.

Thank you for reading and your thoughts.

Jenny. smiley

 

Submitted by airyfairy on

I really felt for you, Jenny. I think nose piercings can look really good, but I would never have the courage to try it. Obviously the chap who did yours should never have been allowed anywhere near anyone's nose!

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on

Hi airyfairy,

when I saw the I. P. I was trying to recall a memory. There aren't many recollections to regret for me, but the nose piercing was one of those spur of the moment thoughts that came into my head as I woke up on a bright sunny morning, wanting to impress friends on a night out. Even in my late 30s and through into my forties and early 50s I was still very young at heart, littile thinking of the future damage I might do to myself.

The guy who did the piercing did kind of give me the creeps, but once in the shop I was determined to go ahead with it. The stud made me look like I had a huge shiny lump on the side of my nose...not attractive at all.

Thank you for reading this piece and I'm very grateful for the feedback,

Many thanks.

Jenny. smiley

 

 

Submitted by Di_Hard on

you were really brave going! There are so many horror stories about the wounds going infected, so I am glad you didn't have that, too. You described the whole experience very well

 

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on

if only I knew then what I know now, it would have been a totally different story. Thankfully it never got infected, that would have been a real disaster, along with the harrowing experience, I did of course keep it clean which probably helped, but I couldn't wait to get it removed and a new stud put in, which did feel more comfortable, but still not attractive...Linda Perry suited a piercing a lot better than me.

I'm glad I described the experience very well. It definitely seemed like a good idea at the time. wink

Thank you for reading and I'm always grateful for your thoughts Di.

Jenny. smiley

 

Submitted by Turlough on

No pain, no gain... as they say. You may not have gained the piercing that you had hoped for but you did gain a great story to tell about yourself in your younger days. Short tales like this can reveal so much about a person's character. I always find them interesting.

This is good reading so I'm looking forward to the next episode about the tattoos.

 

Turlough

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on

Hi Turlough,

I agree that most experiences we go through in life whether good or bad make for a story. I never really gave the long time future much thought if any, more interested in living in the moment and trusting I wouldn't come to any danger. 

It was really only when my dad died that I realized how settling down and being responsible was important, which was when I bought my first computer and found abc tales, which gave me a lifeline to where I wanted to go next.

Thankfully I've never wanted a tattoo, and although I do like some of the designs would never get one myself. Sorry Turlough, but this was a one off, but thank you for reading and your thoughts.

Jenny. smiley

 

Submitted by marandina on

The lead singer of The Cure has a lot to answer for. Evocative images conjured from your past, Jenny. We all do stuff we wish we hadn't...it's what makes us human :)

 

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on

Hi Paul,

I'm of the same mind as you. Trying things out, especially when young is what gives life's experience meaning and what makes us human. Glad you understand.

I like evocative, it means I've managed to capture the whole experience and I'm so grateful to you for reading and letting me know.

Many thanks as always.

Jenny. smiley

 

Submitted by Jane Hyphen on

Ew that sounds eye-wateringly painful, the intensity of the situation expressed so clearly in your piece. I remember the inner fire which drives you to do crazy things when you're young, whatever the consequences, the future didn't matter. I was only allowed one piercing but made a few others further up my ear, using a bag of frozen peas to numb the pain. 

 

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on

Hi Jane,

I've had a few ear piercings and had no problems at all, I still wear my earings that to be honest I completely forget I'm wearing, that's until i look at them in the mirror. I used to love wearung gypsy earings, which are those large hoop earings that I thought were so cool at the time, now I wouldn't be seen dead in them, funny how taste changes as we get older.

You were very brave doing your own piercings, I would never have the courage. I could never understand why people got their tongues pierced, my partner's granddaughter got her's pierced in about 2010, thankfully it was just a phase and she no longer wears it.

It was a traumatic experience, hope it wasn't too gory to read, but I do appreciate the read and also the comment.

Many thanks.

Jenny. smiley

 

 

Submitted by Tom Brown on

... drawing back curtains; greeting the sunshine and wondering!  Fantabulous!

See you! Tom

 

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on

Hi Tom,

always positive when I wake up to a brand new day, whether there's sunshine or rain

You stay safe and positive too. 

Thank you for reading and your welcome feedback.

Jenny. smiley