Walking Along With Rab

Walking Along With Rab

By Paul McCann

On first trip back home to Belfast after being away for 4 years I was able to be there for my cousin John’s wedding . My sister Marian had previous returned and was living there . She got a civil service job and worked in  Chichester Street j. I was lucky to get a wee job working in the laundry at Purdysburn hospital up the Saintfield Road..

In the evenings when they were short staffed I filled in shifts in the kitchen and brough meals for some of the patients in the wards .Thats how I got to meet Rab who came from my village  , It was a winters afternoon and I was bringing around the meal trolley . I stopped outside one of the wards and began to bring in the dinners for the patients . This young lad did in the end bed did a forward roll as I came into the ward . There were about 10 patients in the ward .He asked me for a cigarette “\

’Sorry I have none on me “

I said . I had to refuse him because of staff policy , He told me his name was Robert but everyone called him Rab

“It don’t matter anyway cause I’ve got one in my pyjama pocket”

 He took out the  cigarette and lit it up , then he said

“I ordered a full Irish Breakfast for dinner . I love the taste of bacon and eggs .Do you know what’s good with bacon and eggs , I’ll tell you . You can add sausages,  tomatoes, mushrooms, white pudding, black pudding, fresh fruit, brown bread, or even toast, or scones, with a bit of butter and marmalade.

One of the male nurses was handing out medication and said,

“You’ll get what everybody else gets for dinner Robert . Now go and stt over by your bed and wait until your dinner comes “

Rab returned to his bed and sure enough as the days went on I was getting more and more evening shifts in the kitchen and got to know many of the patients but the one I enjoyed to talk to most was Rab  . He was a real pressure cooker at times and told me all his personal affairs .That’s how I know he came from Ardoyne .You could say that Robert was a little different to most people . Rab was put in to Purdysburn at the request of his Daddy because he had drunk  a bottle of Domestos ..
I suppose for some it was much easier to judge Rab rather than get to know him and so before you make a judgment let me tell you about him to show you a better picture of who he was and what made him live the way he did .

Rab had been in Purdysburn for a month and had kept asking the hospital staff to let him out for a walk . They kept refusing to let him go for fear he would not return Some of the nursing staff could see he and I got on well and his mental condition started to improve since I had been talking to him in the evenings .

The doctor spoke with me and asked me if I would be interested in providing some therapy for Robert and starting work early to accompany Robert on a walk through the hospital grounds . The Doctor seemed to think the fresh air and change of environment would be a good thing for his rehabilitation .

I agreed and the following day I started work early . I brought an obercoat as it was winter and the snow had fallen .Robert was waiting and ready to have a walk with me around the grounds . For him it was like he was having a moon walk in outer  space a million miles away from the ward in Purdysburns front door.

As we walked down a road I’d never walked before and the snow fell Rab began to tell me his thoughts that had been imprisoned by fear and pain . He had been scattered ever since his Mother left and felt a sense of guilt as if he was responsible for the break up in his parents marriage . I could see that he was opening up to me some very personal feeling which I though was a good thing .

We spoke of Ardoyne and some of the people he knew . I felt he was washing out some of his troubles and worries in an outdoor  laundry in the grounds at Purdysburn
Half way between Saintfields Road and the gates of hell if you know what I mean.he had hung out all his feelings on an invisible line . Things that no one had heard because Rab had never before spoken to anyone about his life .He mentioned that her felt he had been banished from having a normal life and wanted to wash away all his bad memories . That’s the reason why he drank the bleach   As we walked along the road inside Purdysburn I saw him trying to hide behind his finger .

“Can you see me “

I could see the walk had talk had refreshed his mind and so I started to make tracks back to the front door of the hospital . I told the doctor what had occurred and it was recommended that the walks would continue .

Rab was traumatised over the separation of his parents and felt he was to blame and he had mentioned on one of our walks that he couldn’t read or write well and by the time he was leaving primary school he  had a huge chip on his shoulder . Tagged as a junior delinquent Rab was told he would have a hard road ahead in life . Some teacher had said he would never get a steady job . I suppose no one had ever reached out to a helping hand to Rab and so they never really understood him .
Although he was considered a hard case the real truth fact was Rab just needed time to develop .

Over the next few weeks Rab had made a lot of progress and they were considering discharging him from the hospital .His behavioural management problems had been addressed and Rab seemed to have recovered . The day came and Rab was released and was taken home by his Daddy .

One day I bumped into Rab along Etna drive and he had no idea who I was and couldn’t even remember our walks in Purdysburn . Other than that he seemed as normal as you or me .

The End