Obsession

Wednesday 17th May

I am a lawyer but not an exciting one. Everyone wants to work in the courts but not me. I wanted to help people with their divorces.  I was hoping to stop people having them but it turns out, that is not a possibility.

It was a typical day until my 2:30pm client arrived. A tall beautiful blonde in a red dress. Why do blondes always look good in red? Anyway, she was still young as in early 30’s whereas I am now in my 50’s. Her husband was a lawyer too. I asked the usual question of why she wanted a divorce. She started to cry as she explained her husband had been having an affair with the secretary at his work. It was then this feeling appeared.

I can’t explain it. Lots of women are in the same boat as her, crying as they tell me the same thing. It’s always affairs. But I wanted to comfort her, hold her and tell her it was okay. I told her I would start the proceedings at once. She thanked me and left.

That was a week ago and now I can’t concentrate. I just want to touch her and hold her. On my lunch breaks I sit outside her work hoping to catch a glimpse of her beauty as she pops down to the local sandwich shop. She always has a chicken sandwich.

After work, I drive to her house and make sure she arrives home safe and sound. I worry in these dark nights that something bad will happen to her.

I took a couple of pictures of her in that lovely red dress as she came home one day. Her blonde hair tucked up in a bun. Some pearls around her neck. She is so beautiful with a soon to be ex husband who never appreciated what he had. Now she is mine.

I sit up most of the night now, looking at these pictures I took.  Wondering what it will be like to hold her in my arms, to kiss her and run my hands inside that red dress of hers. Tomorrow she is seeing me again at my office. I can’t wait to see her again. See her smile.

Thursday 25th May

Today was a disaster.  After the legal parts of our meeting were done, I plucked up the courage to ask this woman for a drink. She turned me down. Can you believe that after all the time I give to her? I love this woman and this is how she repays me. I am once again sat outside her house waiting for her to come home. It’s now 7pm, and she is late. I wonder where she is and what she is doing. I am now worried. I will wait and see what happens tonight.

Friday 26th May

I am sat at home. This will be my last entry. I must confess to what happened. I will never go to jail as this will be my suicide note as well. I am so sorry. I loved her I swear.

I was waiting last night as I said. Then I saw her about 11pm with a man. The cheek of it, she was cheating on me. She should have known what that feels like because her husband did it. She went inside this apartment building with this man. I was so angry.

I reached into my glove compartment of my car and found my gun. I had never shot it before but I had it for safety. I entered her building, gun in hand. I was lucky there was no one around. It was late. I headed up the stairs. I counted them as I went up. There was 150 stairs to her floor. 20 steps to her door.  3 knocks on her door.

She came to the door, saw my gun and tried to shut the door on me. I was stronger than her and pushed my way in. The man started yelling. I put my gun up and pulled the trigger. It missed and hit a lamp. I pulled the trigger again. This time the bullet hit him in the chest. He staggered to the floor and lay there gasping. She rushed over to him. I was yelling at her that I loved her. I had to shoot him but she was crying and screaming. I had to shut her up.

I pulled the gun up again from my side where it had fallen and aimed it at her. I was a terrible shot because the first bullet went straight past her in to the wall.  The second bullet hit the vase but the third did hit her. I may be a bad shot but that was a perfect hit. Right in her head. I knew she was dead. He wasn’t so I went up to him lying there. I moved my beautiful blonde off of his bleeding chest where she had fallen, and put the gun against his head. There was no missing this time.

I am sorry my love for her led me to this. I loved her deeply. I was sorry after killing her, and that’s why I put her on her bed. I smoothed her hair down. I kissed her goodnight. I left.

I just want to say sorry again. I never meant for this and I am sorry to my children for leaving them without their father. I love you both very much but I did a wrong thing and I am making it right.