Yard Sale Chapter 6

Chapter 6

 

 

I closed my eyes and sighed deeply. It was time to come clean to that inevitable question.

 

‘What did I mean by the statement; when I knew he was definitely dead now?’ I asked myself.

 

I hesitated for a minute. ‘Patrick, what do you mean?’ Ellen was the one asking me this time.

 

‘Ok, I’ll tell you, but you have to let me tell you the story from start to finish!’

 

Everyone nodded, Ellen took my hand. This was going to be hard to hear, especially for her!

 

‘After the baby doctor that day, I dropped Ellen home. She was beaming after meeting Rose, as was I! She was a lovely young lady, with a good head on her shoulders. She wasn't; leaving college because of the baby. She has it organized that her mother would take the child when she had lectures, and she was planning to move home and commute. She was like our kids and went home every now and then. She was in her third year in college, and, with just one year to go she wasn't going to allow something like an unplanned pregnancy interrupt her future…for both herself and the baby! It was a sobering experience, talking to her, and, hearing the plan for her life, I just wished my son had some of the same cop on she did!

 

When she told me and Ellen that James had been living out of his car, I, for one, was shocked! He had the life of Reilly at his fingertips, yet he was choosing to live out of his car like a bum…really? I thought we had raised him better than that!

 

I drove around the college area, making sure to stop at all the car parks. After the initial area was clear, it was dark. I decided to check out where he ‘worked’! When I rolled up to the joint, I physically cringed and began to cry. It was a dirty, sleazy, club. Now, don't get me wrong, it was nice if you were into that sort of thing! There was security at the door and a long line of people wanting to get in. A lot of them were in groups and looked as if they were hen parties.

 

I then searched in the vicinity of the club. Eventually, after hours of looking, I found it! My stomach moved up towards my throat as I parked beside my son’s car, which just sat in an empty car park.

 

I got out of my car. Not knowing what to expect, I braced myself for the worst. I walked on the uneven surface towards my trunk to get my trusty flashlight. After turning it on, I scoped the perimeter of James vehicle first. It looked good! Just how I remembered it. With butterflies of anxiety in my stomach, I felt a bit queasy before looking in the window. I knew I had to do it, but I was fearful I was going to find my boy dead inside.

 

Eventually, I bit the bullet and shun the beam of light through one of the windows. I couldn't see much as the light was bouncing back from the thin piece of glass. I cupped my hand and came closer, this time being able to see that there was an insulated, blue sleeping bag in the back seat. I held my breath, wanting to know whether he was in it or not. To my disappointment, it was empty. ‘Shit!’ I said to myself.

 

I then tried all the doors to see if the car was locked. To my surprise, when I tried the passenger door, it opened! A whole load of fast-food wrappers fell onto the ground. I scooped out the rest of the junk and got far enough into the car that I could clearly see what was in it.

 

I rifled through my sons’ belongings and found his passport, driver’s license, and an empty wallet in the glove compartment. I thought, ‘surely to god he wouldn’t have gone anywhere without them!’ Then I look in the ignition, and there, out for everyone to see, were his keys. I knew, in my heart of hearts, that he had gone!

 

Unwilling to believe my suspicions, I exited his car and got back into mine. I dialed a number that was etched into my mind, it was the home phone.

 

‘Hi Ellen,’ I started, ‘I think I’m going to stay out and look for him!’

 

‘Ok honey,’ she said with trepidation in her tone, then she yawned and asked, ‘do you have any leads?’

 

‘I think I'm onto something!’ I answered, ‘but I’m not hopeful! Sorry I didn't mean to wake you!’

 

‘That’s ok my love,’ she yawned again, ‘I was just dozing anyway. I guess I’ll see you tomorrow then!’

 

‘I promise I’ll stay safe!’

 

‘Ok my sweet, night night.’

 

‘Night.’ I ended the phone call, letting out a long sigh as I did so. I began to curse my own flesh and blood for the first time since he was conceived. I couldn't believe he was putting me and Ellen through this. He was a model child until that conversation we had about getting Rose pregnant. Since he started in that bloody college, he had done nothing but screw up his life! It’s been nothing but disaster after disaster with him. He was obviously not ready to leave home!

Sometimes, I blame myself, for insisting he live on campus. Even though he was eighteen, he was obviously was too immature!

 

I stayed there all night, watching, waiting for a sign of James, but it was to no avail.

 

I had a niggling feeling in the pit of my stomach, however! I needed to know if my boy was ok! I went to the strip joint he worked in the following day. Apparently, that Friday, he had to do private dances for a crowd who were gay, and simply refused! I didn't know my boy was homophobic!

 

Daniel, the manager, said, ‘James went away for an hour or so, and came back willing to schmooze the party. He was as drunk as a skunk and reeked of booze. I wouldn’t have been surprised if it was more as well, to be honest. He couldn't even walk in a straight line! That’s why he was sent home, and he was told not to come back until he cleaned up his act. It wasn't the first time he had done that! He was a good worker when in the form, and the ladies loved him. It was a gender-neutral club, but he didn't pay any heed to the men offering him tips. It was flagged to me a couple of weeks before! That’s why he was chosen for that particular party! It was a test of some sort, and he failed miserably! I asked him to leave, and discretely followed him to his locker. As James was clearing it out, he basically told me to shove his job up my ass. It was potentially a big night for the club, I was depending on my newest and best hire, as I had numerous hen parties booked. About an hour later, one of the bartenders saw him buy something off a well-known junkie in the alley when he was going out to the bins. He reported it back to me. There were words exchanged, ending up with James leaving and no love lost!’

 

After hearing that, and the fact Rose hadn’t heard from him since Friday, I drove to the local police station and officially reported him missing.

 

As Ellen will agree, the cops came out to the house the next day to take a statement from both of us.’ Ellen nodded her head. ‘They even took one from Patricia and Rose.’ She contributed. ‘They obviously knew our son better than we did! Patricia didn't know anything about the drugs, but Rose did! She had told the cops he liked cocaine, but he said he had stopped after he found out she was pregnant. She gave them the details of his dealer; on the condition no one knew it was her who sent them to him.

 

The cops knew about the dealer. In fact, they knew him very well. It turned out it was the police sergeant’s son. Everything was brushed under the carpet then regarding the illegal substances. They weren’t put into any file, and Rose’s statement was doctored accordingly. I was extremely furious over that, so I took matters into my own hands.

 

‘I made flyers and put them up on every tree and notice board I came across. On it was a picture of James and an offer of a reward if the information given was fruitful. I desperately wanted to find my boy!

 

Of course, there were mostly junkies and prostitutes who answered the ad, some trying to make a quick buck, some were sincere and genuine. I still gave them the reward, as some seemed desperate, and then I investigated each and every lead…which I thought would send me on a wild goose chase. Yet, the more I looked into it, and met people in those circles, I realized that yes, they had seen him, but he had moved on since.

 

I widened my search to the whole state of Pennsylvania, this time without the reward, as it cost me $100 each time someone claimed to have seen him! I went to the local media, and just kept putting up the new flyers.

 

Every day, someone new came along to say that they had seen him, and where abouts. I followed all directions precisely, and started to bring burgers with me for the homeless and drug addicts. That was their reward for helping me, and even if they knew nothing, I appreciated them too much not to give them one.

 

I searched far and wide for about three weeks, when I was told he was seen in a local crack den. As with all the other directions I was sent towards, I, of course, went to check it out!

 

As I entered the derelict building, I could see old, dirty needles on the floor everywhere. I tried my best to avoid stepping on any. The deeper I went into the once immaculate residence, I saw more and more addicts just lying there, high as kites. I had to step over them, and, once, had to move a man entirely to get to the stairs.

 

I went up the creaky, bare steps, gently, trying not to step on any of the many people who had ended up there. I knew some were dead by looking at them! I prayed to God that if I did find my James, that at least he’d be alive! I searched the three bedrooms, and there, to my disgust, in the third, I found my son! He had a needle in his arm and I couldn't wake him for love nor money. I checked his pulse…it was very weak.

 

As a father, I wanted to call for an ambulance, but knowing how many others were in a similar situation in there, that the paramedics would have their work cut out. Instead, I made my way back downstairs, leaving my only son, sitting in his own filth, and got back into my car.

 

I didn't drive off, however. I called 911 and explained the situation to the operator and asked she send both the cops and the paramedics. I moved my car into a position that I would be able to see them remove the junkies, James included, and kept praying they would get to him before he aspirated on his own vomit.

 

After what I believed to be the ground floor revived with some opioid blocker, strapped to a gurney by handcuffs, there must have been twenty ambulances! Then there was someone I barely recognized being removed from the building. I could see it was, well…what once was, my James. He was writhing and putting up a good fight, even in the state he was in. Once he was loaded onto the vehicle, a cop in tow, the doors were slammed shut and the lights and sirens started to make its way past the many coroner vans that were also there.

 

I wiped the tears from my face, and blew the mucus out of my nose with a tissue, and drove home to Ellen. I cried like a baby the whole fifty-minute journey. When I rolled into the driveway of the house, I sat in the car for what must have been an hour, simply trying to seem like I had given up looking, and not that I found him and gave up on him!’ Ellen squeezed my hand, tears gently covering her beautiful cheeks.

 

‘So basically, when I said that I now know he was definitely dead, I mean that I didn't actually know whether he was dead or alive. I’ve had to sit on that fact for years now, and no passing day made it any easier. Now I know he’s definitely dead…’ I broke down crying, ‘at least the uncertainty isn’t there anymore!’ Ellen threw her arms around me and I sobbed into her shoulder. ‘I can breathe again!’