Um...sorry for bringing everyone down, but...help...

I agree that you need to get out, but I'm not sure getting sacked is the way to go. These days everybody wants last employer references. However, if you took a bar job (just for now) you could get assisted benefits which, if you were working evenings, would give you all day to find something better. Another option, though this one could possibly backfire on you, but it's what I'd try first. Is going right to the top of your company. Speak to the head honcho and tell him about all of your grievances. Put it in writing but also ask for a face to face meeting with him. Tell him you want to work and be a good employee but that you can't cope with the present situation. I work in a large haulage/data storage company for two grumpy old men both trying to top dog each other. Every so often I have to get them both together and say right, you told me this and he told me that, which of you do I listen to? Being out of work is the very worst thing for long-term depression. Also to be considered, if you've been diagnosed as clinically depressed and are a registered addict you're really going to struggle finding something else at a time when there is very little out there. Obviously if neither of these conditions affect your ability to work then you don't need to mention them. I would say, speak to your bosses and explain to them how unhappy you are. But mostly, don't make any rash decision while you're feeling like shit.

Perhaps bar work, or something else, could be a breather/compromise that may grant you the time to find a job you will enjoy and could settle with? I guess I can't be of much help due to lack of experience in these situations, but I do fear the same predicament when I finish uni with no job prospects. It sounds like you're having a real crappy time of it. Hope things get better for you.

Basically if you are unhappy working where you are you should leave, it's as simple as that, but you can be clever at it as well if you can put up with a bit of aggro for a while. Get a copy of your job description, if you haven't got one then ask your line manager for a copy. Send him an email and keep a copy, then keep a copy of his reply, don't stop until you get one. Every time you are asked to do something, have a look at the job description, if it's not on there, then don't do it. Don't make a scene about it, just send an email to your line manager and say " I'm afraid i can't accomodate your request as it's not on my job desription". Keep copies of everything. There may be a line on your job description that says " Any other requests by your Manasger that are reasonable". Get your line manager to define "reasonable". If you are asked to do something that you think is unreasonable then once again refuse and state that you think the request is "unreasonable". After a while, you will become to them the biggest pain in the arse and they will either find a silly excuse to sack you or ask you to leave. If they sack you, you can then go for "constructive dismissal", this means that they have basically forced you out of your job by being unreasonable. Get an employment solicitor ( citizens advice will recommend one) to write to them, if you've kept copies of everything then they will back down and offer you a deal, they will not want to go to court. If they ask you to leave, then great, ask for 6 months wages and negotiate from there. But you must keep copies of everything that you are asked to do. Keep a diary of everytime "Pig" does something naughty. The guy that's just left, keep in contact with him, he may be usefull as a witness. Good luck mate.

Hi Steve, your company sounds F*****G shit mate, no-one should have things thrown at them, Bullying in all it's forms is unacceptable, don't accept it. I'd seek advice, C.A.B can help you in all kinds of ways, ie; to see what help you can get for your rent if you found another lower paid job, and to see if there is any action you can take against these arseholes, maybe as Jolono says, for constructive dismissal, though that takes a lot of energy. One thing for sure, I wouldn't be hanging around, you don't just have to walk out, hand in notice, find alternative employment, happy days, even if it means living with your folks for a bit (if that's a possibility)or flat sharing, whatever it takes, don't torture yourself like this, no Job is worth it. Best of luck.

My daughter was in a similar situation and along with most others in the office she was being bullied to the extent that she phoned me in floods of tears from the toilets. I said it was a pity she hadn't had her breakdown in the office but I told her to go back, collect her things and walk out and go straight to her doctor as because of her situation she was already on anti depressants. She did just that and now she has gone back to being a free lance worker which might not give the security but like Stan says it is preferable to losing her health. The people who are still working there approached my daughter to see if she would be prepared to back them up as they were going to try to do something about this person. She agreed to help and I believe the case is still on going. Though I think Jolono's advice is very good if you can cope with the time it might take to make a strategic withdrawal. You only have one life don't let others ruin it for you. I hope things improve at a rapid rate. Moya

Just another thought. When we had boarding kennels we often used to get people come and work for us for a short time,office workers, teachers, social workers etc who were stressed out. They seemed to benefit from doing physical work as opposed to office work if only for a short time usually a summer season. I'm not suggesting you do kennel work but maybe something physical. Don't know how much this will help just throwing it into the mix . Moya

Film it covertly over a number of months then go up to the head honcho and tell him dispatches would love this shit. Fight fire with fire. Or maybe pack it in and walk away from a nest of vipers? Either way hope you work it out pal. Good luck.

Really sorry to hear your troubles. Nobody's mentioned unions, I'm sort of guessing you don't have one but if you do that's what they're there for. Try and stick it if you can, as claiming the dole is not easy now whatever you may read and if you leave on your own accord you may struggle to get any support. You need to keep a record of everything that happens, any emails or written instructions would be excellent, but otherwise just keep a clear, detailed account of every instruction and request. Witnesses are also important - you say somebody left recently, are you in touch? Have you talked to them about the problems? Talking to CAB is a good suggestion. There are also various mental health and drugs charities that have helplines and might be able to give you advice about the impact of the stressful situation on your condition/addiction and how that impacts on your rights under Equal Opportunities legislation. If your employer knows about your depression, for example, then just dumping any old shit on you could be in contravention of the law if they've not considered the impact on your condition/health. I've just escaped a really nasty employer, luckily I collected a lot of evidence of their dodgy behaviour and consequently got a very generous redundancy, shiny sparkling reference and no damage to my cv. I'm now working round the corner instead of a 4 hour daily commute - result. The last thing to say is apply for jobs as a total priority. easy to say, I know that when you're being sucked dry in a nasty workplace coming home and spending the evening in front of the computer is horrible, and when your confidence is sapped by a bully boss at work it makes it really hard to perk up for interviews, but you have to persevere. Thanks for sharing your problems with us, I'm glad you feel you can share your problems with the abctale community, but do seek expert advice, after all we're just a bunch of bloody writers what do we know!

Also, you might want to look for work for a mental health charity or similar locally. I think you're articulate and upfront about your problems and would bring a really good set of skills combined with personal experience. It's the one setting where your health record is a total, 100% advantage.

No sage advice, just keeping my fingers crossed that things will work themselves out for you Steve. ATB

I don't know Steve. All advice is shit. What I did: take a risk and move to a big city (if you're not already in one) - more jobs. Share a house, but not with people who are falling. Do temping jobs until you land somewhere with decent people. Those places do exist. As do the people. Grab any line that you are offered in such a place. If it's right, they care about you and your self-esteem. If they put their faith in you, return it tenfold. Despite all my miserable writing, I have never lost faith in people. Now I always look to give new people a chance - just like the chances I got. Good luck mate, it's all in your hands. Just make sure you know that.

The interesting thing about the above advice is that a lot of people on this site have been through similar experiences and each has found their own solution. Maybe your gut instinct is the right one, quit and find a bar job or temp or whatever, just to keep working, just to get out from where you are. (my only caution is that a lot of drug addicts also have drink problems and if that applies to you maybe not the bar job). Don't give up hope Steve, a lot of people have been through a similar experience and we're all rooting for you.

Write a compelling article about it and sell it to a national newspaper. Bar work is actually really enjoyable - I loved being a barmaid, but you're right - it doesn't pay that well comparatively, unless you excel, make a career of it and get promoted to bar manager? You could work your way up? The sooner you get out of where you are, the better, from what you've said! Learn to say no - if you always agree to covering others' holiday/doing their work for them because they manage to take advantage of your clearly generous nature, then they will keep pushing it, which will only affect you in the negative way it already has done. The more you say yes/agree to take on, the more people will load extra work on you. And NEVER agree to do anything you consider unethical - I couldn't work for a company that put me in the position you describe, how horrible! At the end of the day, living with your parents for a while longer or moving back in with them temporarily is no bad thing - I've had to do it myself this year due to illness and it's been lovely! Your health and sanity is worth far more than money, trust me! Lastly, please join a narcotics anonymous or similar group and get yourself clean - the drugs will not be helping the depression or your own sense of self-worth. Your parents might be able to help you - why don't you swallow your pride and ask them for help? Remember - only you can change your life - seize the day! J x

Brilliant FTSE. OK - not all advice is shit. Although I contend that examples are what will help. Accidents: YES! Good luck Steve. Shame you can't find a job with the little group above.

Hi Steve, FTSE's right. Aim for the skies! You never know what might happen. When I was 25, disilliusioned with London and drugs and copywriting, I fled to Paris and worked bars. I met an English stockbroker and we started doing parties together. This lasted for seven years and we ruled the place. A friend did the same thing but in New York, and if I was you, at your spritely age, I'd go there. It's awash with illegal immigrants, which is what you'd be, but the buzz there is amazing and there are masses of opportunities. Get a cheap two-week return ticket. This'll give you enough time to find a good bar/club/restaurant job and a cheap room. Take as much money as you can scrape together. Customs may want to check what's in your bank account. The catering trade is notorious for taking on illegals because they work hard, get paid in cash (mostly tips), foreigners add something different to the place and the employer's usually someone who started out as an illegal and knows how impossible it is to get green cards. If you don't find what you want, get the plane back. What would you have lost? Two weeks and a bit of dosh, which would have otherwise been spent on rent looking for a job. What may you gain? Escaping Britain and living in one of the world's most vibrant, whacky cities at a time in your life when you needed some inspiration. Meeting new people and attitudes. Who's to say you won't fall in love with an amazing girl, get married and find the job of your dreams? Aim for the skies, mate. I don't know how you're dealing with addiction ( if you're an addict like me, you're an addict till the day you die), but New York's the best place in the world to battle that too, plus if you show your face at NA and explain your situation, it's highly likely that someone will offer you help with a place to crash and a job. Recovering addicts help recovering addicts like no one else can. I went to New York when I was 22. A mate let me kip at his place. He was an illegal and worked the door at Nell's, a top club. He was quite a celebrity, known as Simon X to conceal his real identity. Everyone knew he was an Englishman in New York (ie, an alien) but no one gave a shit. He broadened the city's mix and brought something to the table. That was what mattered. He did bar work as well, but his dream was to be a film director. Where better than New York? Equally, your dreams might be best served there. It's the world's capital for creativity next to London. I found a job after about week at an all-night eaterie in Chelsea's meat market but then decided to do a driveaway to California with a buddy instead. Whatever happens, these are irreplacable memories to cherish and smile about. Seriously, what is there in the UK that you can't come back to in a few years? I just can't see the point of going from one job to the next like a ghost-robot and expecting different results in a country that's lost its grip on reality. The authorities generally turn a blind eye to illegals in New York unless they're a nuisance. The worst outcome is that you'll be deported after a year or two but you'd have to draw attention to yourself to get caught, so keep your head down and don't get in needless trouble. By seeing another country's ways, we gain perspective of our own country and how we fit into it, or not, as the case may be. When I was your age, in the eighties, I felt an alien in my own country, suffocating in the new air that Thatcher had farted on us. When I got to Paris, I knew I was home, and I hope you find the same sort of release in New York. Europe's pretty much a graveyard nowadays so I wouldn't suggest going there, apart from maybe Berlin but the opportunities are very basic unless you want to join art's subculture. New York's the place for a creative youngblood. If you want to know more, send me an email. All the best, Richard

I'm incredibly good looking and incredibly wealthy. These are accidents. Well one of them is. I quite enjoyed this post. There are lots of good stories here. I'm awarding this post a cherry that can be sold on ebay.

Stan, you're right, that was a gross generalisation. For some people being out of work is for the best while they recuperate and recharge especially for people like you who do voluntary work. I meant those people who give up work, find themselves with no money to spare after necessities are paid and face long days and nights looking at four walls and finding it difficult to get another job. My personal history is coming out of care with no qualifications, not even CSE's as they were then. I did a PRC course which as well as being a preliminary nursing course gave me my basic maths/English/sciences. From there I did a three year S.E.N. nursing course. I was a general ward nurse for ten years, then quite by fluke, I blagged my way into a job as an Occupational Therapist. I didn't have the necessary qualifications but was keen and enthusiastic, which is what got me the job. They flung every course going at me and for seven years I worked in a mental health facility on the secure unit. After that it was all change again and I did care in the community nursing, which was basically a carer with a few extra duties. Then I decided to change tack completely. I quit my job and out of work I applied for twenty-six jobs and said that I'd take the first one offered. I got the one that I really didn't want. Working in a sex shop. Six months later I became the manager after the existing manager was jailed. For five years I did well. Really enjoyed my job, brought the shop up from its knees to being a respectable shop like any other in town. And then it all went horribly wrong. I was forced by the company to sell legal highs. Within weeks I was Barrow's biggest drug dealer. They told me to leave if I didn't want to sell them. I had a nice house (rented) a teenage son, and yes, I liked the high wage. I was scum. I hated what I was doing but didn't turn down the five and a half grand bonus that they gave me in the first three months. That was the one and only bonus, they stopped them after that. I used to tell my customers not to buy them but was still doing between three and eleven grand's worth of sales a day. The company was very careful to stay within the law. It all culminated when eight coppers burst through my door, handcuffed me, threw me to the floor and left me there for an hour and a half. I was arrested and told that if they found one illegal substance I'd be looking at five years. Of course they didn't and I was de-arrested. My bosses offered me a pizza for the stress. It hit the newspaper and I was ostracised I was egged in the street, refused taxi's and abused every time I went out. I deserved every damned thing I got. I was so scared of quitting and losing my home, or ending up on six quid an hour. On a Friday an Saturday night between six and eight my till would be so full that I couldn't get anymore into it. I'd have a box at my feet, the shop would be packed with a constant flow of people and I'd literally take their thirty quids and give them their powders and throw the money into the box until I could lock the door, and put the money in the safe. Head office carefully controlled their stock so I had to count the monmey divide it by thirty and then sit scanning up to a hundred packets of powder into the till before opening the door and letting the next lot in. I had a big bat behind the till and for those two years I waited for blokes in ski-masks to come bursting through the door and hurt me. My shop had no windows. I was a woman alone. I was a sitting target and to this day am amazed that it never happened. Now, I work in an office for little above minimum wage, I live in a rented ex-council house and after paying bills, car ect, I'm broke but at least I have a clear conscience. I'm looking for a better job, but there's nothing about for somebody my age. I've done some bad things in my life... but that is one of the worst. I should have had the integrity to quit the day they tried to force me to sell those things. I made the company owner a very rich man. While I took all the flack and I deserved it. So sometimes, yes, it is best to be out of work.

So FTSE, you're beating about the bush here, do you think Steve should try and get a bar job or not?

And me, should we all do a mass exodus? ABCTales hits NY.

'I've always had a path set out for me..(GCSEs, A-levels, uni, ultra competitive job, wife, kids, retirement, death, and slight variations on this theme)' I know exactly what you mean, and I know exactly how one can struggle with such a thing. On one hand, I want so much to steer clear of this path, and to avoid being bound by it. On the other hand: school, family, friends - so many aspects of life consistently preach this idea that it becomes difficult to see any other way, or at least to see another way as a positive direction in life.