ways of breaking the news by liplash

2 posts / 0 new

Topic locked

Wed, 2006-06-28 19:49

http://www.abctales.com/story/liplash/ways-of-breaking-the-news

i like this almost stream of conciousness, each thought triggering another - i like the phrases such as 'deathees' and the 'newsbreakers' and the insight into the narrator. Hearing about someones death is a common experience to all of us and i certainly related to it. However i think it needs a bit of a tidy up nearer to the end - i am confused to who Kitty was and Andrews relationship to the narrator.

An interesting read, the stone flagstones was great.

Juliet

Fri, 2006-06-30 15:12

liplash

Thanks so much for your comment Juliet - I've removed it for the moment as I realised it wasn't a polished off piece - if you'll excuse the term. Bit personal and raw and sometimes you can give too much and push people out of the equation. O gosh - the names are real - husband and mother in law. Too muddledly. Will rework it and put it back up. Thanks once again.

Topic locked