Chapter one

I am dieing
I want to live,
But do I know what is life?
Life means friends
Life means everything.
I don't have friends.
Is it so?
Oh no I have some!
Some to laugh with me
But not to cry along
Why do I call them my 'friends'?
Just because I have to spend time with them
They are mere acquaintances
Not even that.
Just some units of life
That I have to hang around everyday
And chatter with, like low minds.
I want friends and not forced acquaintances
Those who share and care
Share my interests and care for me.
Friends without condition
Friends with love
Friends for life

My mind was like this in those days. I didn't want to talk to anyone I
didn't want to share my thoughts. I became a tenth grader with no close
friends, no reason to live, and no one to rely on. No one to call his
own, in whom he could confide and share his grief and happiness with. I
had become an irritated teen. The only friends I had were the
schoolmates. And I didn't find them of my level. I was very sad.

* * *

I was on my bike, heading towards Blue Street to deliver a piece of
news and some stuff to my uncle and help his son, Ankit, out with his
math problems.
I saw a girl. She looked intelligent and sweet. She was intellectual
type unlike other girls.
I reached Ankit's place and knocked the door.
"Hi Shubh!" Ankit opened the door and said.
"Hi! Where's Uncle?"
"He has gone for some work." He said.
"Where's aunty?"
"Hi Shubh I just talked to your mom on phone. Give me the stuff now, I
need it." Aunty came out from the kitchen and said. I handed over the
stuff to her and she went inside.
"So Ankit, lets get on to the work," I said.
"Which work?" he asked me trying to sound innocent. I gave him one on
his back and he knew what the work was.
"Lets go to my room!" he pushed.
"That's better," I said.
He's three years junior; I mean he is a seventh grader in our school.
An average student he is. But he's really very good at sports.
We went to his room. A typical pre-teenager's room - totally littered
with stuff. (Mine is no different!) He made some place first on the
floor to walk and then pushed off the useless things from the
table.
"Ankit what have you been doing to your room? It seems that some elves
or thieves have been here." I said nagging him.
"You know Shubh! I like to live like this only. Then why are you
asking" He said.
"But still what's the harm in letting someone, who enters the room,
feel that a human being lives here and not a beast." I said knowingly
enough that it was - useless.
"To that I would just say - That's the way I am." He said and I gave
up.
We sat down. I explained him some parts. He makes lot of silly
mistakes. I assigned him few sums to do and went to the balcony.
The outside scene isn't very interesting. Just some trees and a boring
park where children come and play in the evenings and spend their time.
Ankit goes to that acting school partly visible from there. I went
inside and sat down beside him
"So how's your acting going on?" I asked him. Ankit raised his head
from his books, gave me a queer look and again sank into his
books.
"I think I asked you something!" I nagged.
He didn't reply, completed his work and kept his books aside,
"So you have developed an interest towards my acting overnight."
"Mmm ...Just asking dear." I tried to convince.
"Oh! 'Just asking' I see" he said and again started thinking
something.
"Hey tell me!"
"OK it's going well. But why are you asking?"
"Ju..."
" 'Just asking' right?" he cut in.
" Don't make a fuss out of this."
I asked - "Any new chaps around?"
"Oh! I see!! Things are now falling into place. Now I get the
implementation why this sudden interest for acting has engrossed you."
he coaxed, "Well neither any new boys and, to your disgust, nor any
girls have joined recently in my notice, and my notice isn't very good
you know!" he said.
"Show me your sums now and don't distract." I tried to change the
topic.
"Hey hey hey! Who distracted? You only asked! What's the matter?
Mmm...?"
"Ok let's get back" I said.
"Fine. As you wish"
"Show me your sums" I directed.
He gave me the sums.
"Oh Ankit when will you stop making such petty mistakes?" I irked, "27
plus 5 makes 32 and not at any cost 35! What's the matter, where is
your mind. One petty mistake and the sum is wrong. All your sums have
such petty mistakes. Do them again."
I gave them back to him and glanced on my watch, it was seven. I was
supposed to be back in time because I had an assignment to complete and
submit the next day.
"It's too late. I have to do some schoolwork, so I'll leave, do them on
your own and be careful while doing them. See you soon." I said and
rushed out.
"OK bye!" Ankit said
I left at once.
"Bye aunty!" I said, aunty was in the kitchen preparing the
dinner.
"What happened? Take the dinner with us today I have made pizzas" She
offered.
"I'd love to but not today I have got some schoolwork so I'll leave
now. Some other day, bye for now Aunty!"
"OK Bye dear. See you."
I went outside and hurried back. Ankit saw me off from his
balcony.

* * *
"Hi mom!" I entered the house and said.
"Hey Shubh you got quite late" mom said, "why dear, any probs?"
"No, actually I was helping out Ankit with his math." I told her.
"Now get fresh and come down for dinner your dad is back." She
said.
"No mom I have some urgent schoolwork so I'll skip the dinner." I said
hurrying up the stairs.
"Ok then take your milk before going to bed."
"Ya. Fine" I said.
I dashed into the room and was up with the work. It was too much and
was to be submitted the next day itself. I knew it was going to take
heck of a time. It took me long to finish it. As I finished it was
already 11'O clock. But there was no trace of sleep in my eyes. Still I
changed and then darkened the room. I lay wide-awake tossing in the bed
but couldn't sleep so I stood up, put off the
curtains and opened the window. Though it had a pinch of cold, but the
wind was pleasant. I sat on the armchair beside the window. Cool, it
was. Well I don't know when I slept.