INTERVIEW

"So, why do you want this job, then?"
"Why do you think? I'm not here for a laugh."
"What can you bring to this workplace?"
"Have you seen the state of your other staff?"
"How do you think you'd fit in and mix with the others?"
"I think I'd hate everybody. Would that be a problem?"
"I expect you've had a look through the leaflets we've sent you."
"You expect too much - I haven't even touched them."
"What would you say is your greatest achievement?"
"I ain't telling you, am I? That's far too personal."
"What type of education did you have?"
"Well, I think I was supposed to go to school."
"Are you able to keep to deadlines?"
"I don't know. I've never tried."
"How do you cope when under pressure?"
"I tend to run away and hide."
"Where do you see yourself in 5 years' time?"
"Do I look like a clairvoyant?"
"What is your general attitude to this role?"
"Well, it's hardly important."
"How much would you say you really want this job?"
"Did I say I wanted it in the first place?"
"If you aren't offered this job, what will you do?"
"Well, there won't be tears running down my face."
"Well, thanks for your time. We'll let you know if you've been
successful."
"Successful in what exactly? Failing to succeed?"
"We will contact you within the next couple of days or so."
"Aah, I wouldn't bother - there ain't any real need."

21 March 2002