G: Tales of Temporary employment - 1

It was the summer of 1976 - the year of the hottest heat-wave I've
suffered so far. I suffer heat, it makes me ill - somewhere in my part
of the pool there must be Siberian genes. I'd just finished sixth form
college and everything was in the balance. I took a temporary job while
I waited to find out my exam results. This was my very first flirtation
with full-time employment and it was a hellish introduction. I got a
job with a pet food distributor. Up until then I didn't realise that
such companies existed, I'm still not sure why. They had this building,
something in between a shed and a warehouse - the worst things about it
being that it had a corrugated iron roof and there was a heat-wave and
tons of smelly pet food. Not just tinned dog and cat food, but cuisine
for fish, hamsters, budgies, rabbits and every other creature that
humans attempt to domesticate. I had to make up orders to be sent off
to various shops then a van would arrive to collect it all.

It was already hot outside when I arrived to unlock the door at 8.30 in
the morning. Inside, the pet food had been sweating away all night and
yesterday's stale, sweltering air came out to greet today's becalmed,
stagnant air. I would then spend eight hours or so wrestling with
increasingly rank boxes of Trill, Boneo, Catnip and so forth, becoming
increasingly rank myself as the day wore on. I soon began to get very
depressed. Not even the jolly strains of Radio One could lift my
spirits - the DJ's kept babbling on about the 'glorious' weather. The
Sun came up with one of their trite headlines - 'Phew! What a
scorcher!' All I could think of was 'Phew! What a stinker!'

The heat-wave lasted longer than the job. I don't know how I lasted as
long as I did, but on the tenth day, fate intervened. In the yard
outside the shed were lots of old wooden pallets and the one that had a
large nail sticking out of it had made an appointment with my left
foot. Oh great, unbridled joy, they had to 'let me go' a telling
phrase, I've always thought. Now I could spend the rest of a pet food
free summer feeling ill solely due to the heat and waiting for my exam
results. I passed them, thank the Lord, I passed them.