My Scruffy Hair

At school i never had a girlfriend
I never even gave it a try
And now I've got a thinking
was my scruffy hair the reason why?
would it all have been different
if i had a funkier look?
I've waited for my turn
to grow good sideburns
I just thought it was so unfair
tht I was born with scruffy hair.

Why it's like that I don't have a clue
I've always blamed Vosene Shampoo
it looks like it's been cut
in the Last Chance Salon
By an otherwise unemployable
hairdresser called Alan
I lie in bed
contemplating shaving my head

I wish it didn't look so rough
I wish I could escape dandruff
Yeah okay so I've got stubble
but at least i keep myself out of trouble
so much seems to hinge
on the appearance of my scruffy fringe

I read in a magazine
Organics was given 1 out of 10
so I switched to Pantene
but very soon
I was trying out Vidal Sassoon
but nothing could stop the curls
Nothing could help me look good for the girls.

Yeah no employers seem to dare
and no women seem to care
to trust someone with a gormless stare
and to love someone who has got scruffy hair