Zero

How much do you earn? I know this is a very personal and maybe even
slightly rude question but it is relevant. It is certainly not cheap to
stay alive in this day and age. Once the tiny matter of food, bills and
basic clothing have been taken care of, you have try to keep up with
whatever the latest fashionable waste of time happens to be... You need
to get hold of that games console and DVD player. You need to get the
latest trainers, the next mobile phone that hits the market and of
course, you will need to download the most up to date ring tone to go
with that. Cars, holidays and lifestyles all bought and paid for with a
designer credit card. Therefore, you will need to make a fair amount of
cash to keep your head above the water in the fashion stakes.

Television makes the hedonist lifestyle seem to be the most important
thing in the modern world and if you cannot keep up with this image of
the wealthy, fun-loving "young thing" then you are made to feel like
the saddest creation to crawl out from under a rock. And so, earning
power has now become the measuring stick of a person's true worth. You
had better be earning upwards of ?11,000 or you really ought not to
show your face in our club.

Now, just imagine what it would be like if you were earning absolutely
nothing. Think about it, you have no money coming in whatsoever. You
cannot afford to buy a Mars bar, never mind splashing out on an X-Box
or widescreen TV. How would that make you feel? Pretty low and unhappy,
I'd guess. It's unimaginable to you, isn't it? In this country, one of
the richest economies in the world, it would be remarkable to find
people that poor, wouldn't it? Well, as rare as it may seem I can think
of at least one person in that particular situation. There is no prize
for guessing that the person in question is me and as I write this
piece, I have the princely sum of fifty pence in my pocket and no hope
of adding to this in the near or distant future.

So, how did this situation arise? Well, I had a very difficult time
during the 1990s suffering from a nervous breakdown and deep depression
due to the difficulty in finding a job. I claimed incapacity benefits
for a number of years whilst I was ill and although this was not a
great deal of money, it served me well and I was able to eat healthily,
clothe myself adequately and keep a roof over my head. In the year
2000, I finally felt that I was coming out of the darkness and was in
recovery at last. I came off the medication that I was being prescribed
and was looking ahead towards moving in with my new girlfriend and
getting myself a job. I signed off from the incapacity benefits and
signed on as unemployed but willing to work. The future was looking
good from my point of view for the first time in years. However, the
Department of Social Security informed me that I was ineligible for any
kind of benefit as my partner was earning over a certain amount and I
had not paid enough in the way of contributions over the tax years
'98/'99. However, I found myself a part time job cleaning toilets,
which was a hard, thankless and badly paid position but I never missed
a single day at work.

The job didn't last long due to some rather unpleasant and personal
vendetta against me and I hit the Jobcentre again in order to find work
and claim benefits again in the interim, but despite the fact that I
had been working hard at a disgusting and humiliating job for several
months previously, I was informed that was still ineligible for any
kind of help. In effect, they are saying that I should be a kept man
and my girlfriend has to foot all the household, grocery and utility
bills, which is a thoroughly humiliating way of life. It makes me feel
quite powerless to help myself. I came through what was the darkest
period of my life and fought myself back to full health. I was ready to
rejoin society and make my mark, to make a real contribution but I am
thwarted at each and every turn. Back to square one.

My job hunt has continued relentlessly over the last few months but
unfortunately, prospective employers find the lengthy time spent out of
work very off-putting. When they find out the reason for my lack of
employment during the 90s was mental illness, they just will not give
me a chance. I have applied for all manner of jobs and although I have
found the odd temporary job here and there, my prospects of finding
work are somewhat limited. I still have dreams, of course. I'd love to
be able to afford to go around the world on holiday and I would love to
get myself that widescreen TV that I've had my eye on, but this must
just remain in the realm of dreams and fantasy. I cannot even afford to
shop from the damaged goods section in Morrison's and although I know
that I am not alone in this awful situation, I'm part of a silent
minority of society that nobody will acknowledge actually exists. Those
that have fallen through the holes in the "safety net" of the Social
Security system and despite all their better efforts, just cannot claw
their way back out of the hole in which they find themselves. So, where
do I go from here? Currently, I am clueless as to my next move. I may
have to try my luck looking for work further south and as a Londoner, I
have no problem with living there again but under those circumstances,
I'd have to live apart from my girlfriend which is something I find
quite heartbreaking.