C: Flattened and Flattered

Flattened and Flattered

Flattened and flattered on another day. I have crashed I am confused
and I think back to the conversation I had with Ana a while ago. I am
confused I think. Will I crash - But like most truly advanced computers
I am able to contain myself.
I get a cup of coffee and crawl back into bed staring at the ceiling my
eyes alternating between scarringly wide open and tightly closed.
Woosh a tube rushes through and my eyes open wide staring once more at
the ceiling circling around the light bulb with its patch of badly
painted ceiling which willl never be painted properly.
I am thinking about the old subject, the love subject.
I am dreaming about my world and my future and as always I am a very
good dreamer and the future looks bright but not orange. If there would
be a TV in my bedroom I would flick it on now watching garbage on
Sunday and all the other crap which seems designed to keep you were you
are that is inside, socially isolated and quietly vegetating in front
of the flimmering box. But I don't, so eventually I make it into the
bathroom to run a bath and switch the kettle back on.
Then I dive into my bath imagining the sparkling depths of a lake in
the middle of the Amazonian rainforest but this doesn't last long and
instead I am staring at the blue of my wall. Surrounded by blue and
warm soothing wetness I dive deeper searching for mussels and fish and
sand that I don't find.
I have a great urge to go somewhere green so green that I would go
greenblind or foresstblind or anyhow the equivalent of snow blind in a
rainforrest setting.
It's Sunday the twenty third.

© Marcus Bastel