Tears in Public

Tears in public

Crying,
Head bent to wet hands,
Sitting at the caf? table.
I'm not looking at you
But I know you'll be
Watching my tea grow cold.

I can feel the stares
Like needles down my back,
Curious strangers,
Sympathy and daggers
And I know it's not decent -
Tears in public
Frowned on
As if we're not allowed
To show emotion.

I could scream.
I could climb onto the table,
Throw the teapot at you,
Really give them something to talk about.
'There was this girl
In the restaurant -
She went crazy, leaping around, shouting,
Smashing things',
Oh I'd love to do it
But it's bred in the bone,
The guilt
Of crying in public,
Just Not Done.

And the stupid thing,
The thing that really chills me,
A detachment -
I'm watching myself
And wondering why I'm crying

Because I don't know.