The Heirloom

The 'Heirloom'

I believe in maintaining a style which is ageless and comfortable. This
year I am staying in the drawing room of Jeff, who tells everyone he
entertains in my presence that he has a 'Sales background and proud of
it'. He and I first met when he acquired me at a recent auction of the
earl's estate, following his death last month at age 94. It was
somewhat sad to bid farewell to my previous 'carer', butler Harbinger,
who had tended to my every need for fifty years. He had at least seven
predecessors, none of whom were all that good, and he was my favourite.
I wonder what life will be like with Jeff and Jackie, his significant
other, as she describes herself?

Hello, here comes a new maid. She is putting knives, forks and spoons
on the lovely damask table cloth which Jackie bought for me at a sale a
week ago.. It is strange to be clothed after so many years of being
proud to expose my natural grain to visitors.

Now the maid is putting some place names on each side plate. Careless!
Each nameplate should be positioned above the place setting, towards my
centre, and all of them should be aligned in straight lines.

We are all entitled to indulging in some curiosity, so you will excuse
me if I read some of the place names in my middle section, where the
important diners sit. Here's the first one. What a strange name! I
certainly am unaware of it. "His Highness Uno Albi." and the maid has
not left a suitable knife and fork. Instead, there is a little
cardboard box, emblazoned with words "Superior silver-plated Spoon and
Pusher Set". How strange!

I hope we are all going to have a grand intellectual dinner party, but
I have some doubt. Jeff's last two dinners have seen gravy spilt all
over one of the carpet near to one of my ball and claw feet. A near
miss, for which I am thankful, but it reminds me how vulnerable we are
to others who do not share our values......